WOW, I have seen messages like this before. A guy hit me up one time we chatted… Then after a while he asks if i am latino i say no and he calls me a stupid n-word for wasting his time and blocks me. I was like WTF??? SMH
People like this need to be put in a jail cell with the toughest Black and Asian gangs around. Chicken-shit prick hater that hides behind the safety of the internet! He would never say this on the street!
So just because I am gay I am supposed to be attracted to everyone? Yeah, right. I know what I like, what I want, I am upfront about it and I really don’t care if someone if offended because I am not attracted to their racially specific features.
I don’t see why stating you are not attracted to a certain ethnic type is racist. I am a mixed race British guy and I only find 35+ fair skinned, blonde/ginger guys attractive.
I just don’t find black people sexually attractive, some asians (like chinese etc) can be cute but again, not something I’d search for. Nothing against black, asian or middle eastern guys, like women -I just don’t find them a turn on!
Wow, all these hook up sites are filled with various people. I am white and prefer white guys sexually. One time an asian man texted me on gridnr and said “hey, I like white guys too, your hot.” I replied, “thx”. Then he responded, “are you into asians?” I said, “not really, I have not found myself sexually attracted to any asian man I have met yet.” Then he replied, “Racist!” And I said, “You said you prefer white guys, don’t be a self hater, date another asian guy.” No reply after that.
You all are children, Since I have not found in my many travels anyone but white guys sexually attractive I am a racist? I also like to say on my profile what I am looking for and I do agree it is wrong to blatantly say what you are not looking for. Just block ’em.
The whole thing is pretty frustrating, I run into all the time. Its fine if you have a preference, but some people are just such fucking assholes about it. I’m finally to the point where I don’t let it bother me as much, but it was incredibly difficult having to go yet another level of discrimination when I first came out. Tis life I suppose.
If you exclude an entire race of people from your dating pool you are, by definition, a RACIST. It’s one thing to have a preference, but NO blacks NO asians is just racism. How can you know you won’t be into someone until you meet them…unless you’re a racist?
Being half-Asian, and constantly being ignored once guys get a face shot from me, this is a very frustrating reality. However, I don’t consider it “racist”. Everyone has preferences: age, physical condition, dick size lol…The gay guys that can stand on their soap box and claim to have no physical requirements to date someone are very, very few. And they’re probably lying. Yes, he could have worded it better. Yes, he’s a douche. No, I can’t automatically call him a racist (he still could be, but that can be based just on his sexual preferences).
Electronic anonymity promotes rude and choppy communication. That’s the main issue–people hiding behind a phone without much of any sense of individual politeness or social propriety, which is too bad for all of us, including the perpetrators.
No, it’s racism dressed up as preference. You are okay to be raising the point about preference – but there is a piece missing in people’s understanding of the subject matter.
Anyone who has spent any substantial amount of time in a foreign culture will automatically understand.
Once you go through an ‘acclimitisation’ phase, suddenly, your attraction evolves. What seemed mishappen, different, unattractive shifts. Perception is powerful. In India, Indians start to seem hot after a while and in Asia, likewise.
People are falsely assuming that there is an ‘absolute’ hegemonic, invariant ‘beauty’.
There actually isn’t! And our disgusting words ‘no Asians’ or worse ‘no Rice’ is simply vomitronic language – harmful to the reader – and to non-Asians in more insidious ways for the normalising of racial abuse.
Gosh I am so tired of these racist uneducated ass wholes.That really shoes how ignorent they are. If someones not your type, theyres no need to be a prick about it. Im biracial white & black so I find it totally insulting when people act like this. Theyrea better ways to go about things in a more respectful mannerism and chat etiquesy..That shows not only is he a douche, but and educated prick.
Everyone has a preference and I agree that you should be allowed to say looking for under 29 or only blacks or whatever. But this guy already hit our friend up on grinder. So if you’re already attracted to him, what does race matter
If you are already attracted to me that you are messaging me, what does race matter? This is the tell sign that it is not a preference issue. I honestly prefer men i think are hot. If you think I’m hot then learn I’m black and that turns you off that is what we call a racist. the issue is with race not how attracted to me you are. I have been told many times How hot I am. THan if I weren’t black how they’d love to fuck me. I enjoy attractive people. All races! Because we are all human. Honestly in this case he is a racist. in some cases ie… if you like pale skinned men then I guess my chocolate skin wont do it for you… but if you like my face how hot I am and my skin color is the only thing deterring you then we have an issue or rather You have an issue.
what’s the problem? i’m white and i only prefer white guys. I have black friends who only prefer black guys and i have latino friends who only prefer latinos. People have their types, how is that racist? you guys are fuckin annoying.
@kevin101 – i agree – i’m asian and this guy you talked to is a self-hating idiot.
in regard to the original post, it’s one thing for someone to have a preferred look, it’s another to just go about searching for your type in a racist, dehumanising and insulting manner.
Sexual attraction is such a complicated thing that I would rather withhold judgement in most cases, when it comes to weight, color, etc, but there is still such a thing as civility and common decency. No guy has any business treated someone who is interested in him like he’s less than human just because he belongs to a different ‘race.’ If another man finds me unattractive, OK, I can deal with that. What I completely reject is being pushed aside because of my background. I’m half Jewish, half Latino. I’ve encountered guys who were attracted to me, but when they learned I’m half Mexican, they lose interest. I’ve had Arab guys interested in me and make anti-Semitic comments, not realizing that my ‘middle eastern’ looks are Jewish, not Arab. So hopefully more of you see that rejecting a guy on account of his ‘race’ is a very superficial thing is not a matter of so-called ‘racially specific’ looks, but more of a matter of prejudices learned from childhood and the media. You don’t have to go home with me or be friends with me, just treat me like a human being.
The idea of anonymous sex is so disgusting that the racial issue is a secondary sub-plot in this sordid picture. This is the reason why I no longer seek to associate with gay men because they are continuosly on the prowl, have no idea what a loving, monogamous partnership is, nor want one, and I have no use for them. I might as well have been born without sexual organs, at this point, because at age 48, after never having met a man worth a shit from Dallas to San Francisco to LA and back again, I doubt that I am going to anytime soon. I happen to prefer black and mixed-race men with smooth, buttery, hairless skin, and you should see how fast the other white guys flagged any personal ads that I placed in the past. Such hypocrites! So fuck them all, I am done. I will no longer subject myself to the gay normal, which is a new sex partner every day, hell several per day in some places. NO THANKS.
#22 has to be my favorite post of all of the ones on here…Bryan calls this guy uneducated and then posts this displaying his wn apparent lack of education:
“Gosh I am so tired of these racist uneducated ass wholes (obviously, to the educated, this shoulde be “holes”).That really shoes (shoud be “shows” maybe??) how ignorent (if you can’t spell ignorant, are you ignorant?) they are. If someones not your type, theyres (hmmmmm, lets try, “there’s” to replace there is…) no need to be a prick about it. Im biracial white & black so I find it totally insulting when people act like this. Theyrea (they are a??? Guess we should give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he meant “there are”) better ways to go about things in a more respectful mannerism (definition: a distinctive gesture, habit, or way of doing something…guess again we’re left to assume he meant “manner”) and chat etiquesy (I looked just to make sure this wasn’t a word I was unfamiliar with, and it’s definitely not even a word…guess we’re left to that assuming thing again that he really intended “etiquette”)..That shows not only is he a douche, but and educated prick (so you called him ignorant, but now he’s educated?!?!?! Or did we mean “uneducated”).”
I will never understand those who find this to be racist. Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean that I’m sexist, does it? I just PREFER men. That doesn’t mean that I hate women. Similarly, just because I prefer white men doesn’t mean that I hate black men. It just means that I have a preference. Being upfront on sites like grindr is the only way to achieve what you’re looking for anyways.
To the commenters who say they don’y understand why this is racist:
Having a sexual preference is fine but preference is not exclusionary. I prefer blacks and latinos but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been with any white guys or asians. My longest relationship was actually with a guy who is asian. I prefer guys around my age but I’ve had some great sex with guys nearly twice my age. However, once a preference turns to exclusion (“no old,” “no blacks,” “no asians,” “no latinos,” “whites only,” “blacks only,” “cd/trans only”) then it becomes prejudice & discrimination. This is true regardless of the race, age, sexual preference, gender and/or gender identity of the person who created the profile.
Racism, as a system of oppression which is based on race and designed to benefit the oppressor, employs prejudice and racial discrimination as its main tools. So a white guy who only wants to talk and have sex with other white guys is therefore racist. This is not true if the person who created the profile is part of the oppressed group. So an asian guy who only wants to talk and have sex with white guys is not racist just only discriminatory.
Had the receiver of this message been someone with white skin, blond hair and blue eyes but of latino and south asian descent, would the sender have denied to speak with them? This is why its racist.
While not condoning racist behavior at all, I find all these hysterical self-aggrandizing denouncements of racism to be pretty ridiculous. It’s perfectly okay to be an ageist in the LGBT community, apparently. Have you picked up a queer magazine lately? If you aren’t under 35, sport the latest trendy coiff and appear as if you work out six days a week, you simply do not exist. It’s absolutely disgusting. Is this how we represent the brothers and sisters who fought for the very freedoms and rights that young gays take for granted? Evidently yes – so stop being a damn hypocrite, squealing your indignation over real or alleged racism when your own attitudes in other equally meaningful areas are every bit as disgusting. Off the soapbox now…I said it and I’m glad.
@Alex “I will never understand those who find this to be racist. Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean that I’m sexist, does it? I just PREFER men. That doesn’t mean that I hate women. Similarly, just because I prefer white men doesn’t mean that I hate black men. It just means that I have a preference. Being upfront on sites like grindr is the only way to achieve what you’re looking for anyways.”
No, Alex. I’m sorry to say: you are absolutely wrong, and I think you know it. Your sexual neuro-circuitry has biologically predisposed your attraction to men or women. In contrast, desire to have sex with racial types is learned and changeable.
Preference is like ice cream, as I regularly explain. I like acai and raspberry non-dairy sorbet. That doesn’t mean I won’t eat vanilla, chocolate and peanut butter chunks, mocha and frap and other good flavors. I like ice cream in general.
When one decides that he’s not going to have sex with any or all Asians/Blacks, that’s not a preference. That’s a completely prejudicial biased that he’s learned; likely due simply to a lack of regular exposure to Asians/Black.
Had you ever wonder why in this day and age many to most young White boys only want other White guys, while many/most older White men tend to shift their “preference” more towards Asians? If it’s all just a “preference”, you would see a bigger mixture than this ^^ quite salient, ubiquitous trend, right?
When are you going to accept the fact that this is all learned bigotry and that it could be corrected if one wants to?
Disgusting
WOW
Sadly,this is common with gays. We’re already a minority and we treat other minorities like shit. So sad.
oh wow. nothing new with this. where are those white defender of ‘its just a sexual preference’?
LOL and what did this piece of shit look like?
WOW, I have seen messages like this before. A guy hit me up one time we chatted… Then after a while he asks if i am latino i say no and he calls me a stupid n-word for wasting his time and blocks me. I was like WTF??? SMH
There is no fixing stupid!
Hypocritical to be gay and racist IMHO
Typical rainbow trash, lol the kkk has a gay division , how nice.
People like this need to be put in a jail cell with the toughest Black and Asian gangs around. Chicken-shit prick hater that hides behind the safety of the internet! He would never say this on the street!
Awesome!
Yup, the guy with the anti-racist comeback is indeed AWESOME 🙂
i don’t see the big deal!!! maybe could have worded it better but if someone doesn’t fancy black or Asian men then why he waste their time???
So just because I am gay I am supposed to be attracted to everyone? Yeah, right. I know what I like, what I want, I am upfront about it and I really don’t care if someone if offended because I am not attracted to their racially specific features.
I don’t see why stating you are not attracted to a certain ethnic type is racist. I am a mixed race British guy and I only find 35+ fair skinned, blonde/ginger guys attractive.
I just don’t find black people sexually attractive, some asians (like chinese etc) can be cute but again, not something I’d search for. Nothing against black, asian or middle eastern guys, like women -I just don’t find them a turn on!
Friendship is fine but that’s all.
Wow, all these hook up sites are filled with various people. I am white and prefer white guys sexually. One time an asian man texted me on gridnr and said “hey, I like white guys too, your hot.” I replied, “thx”. Then he responded, “are you into asians?” I said, “not really, I have not found myself sexually attracted to any asian man I have met yet.” Then he replied, “Racist!” And I said, “You said you prefer white guys, don’t be a self hater, date another asian guy.” No reply after that.
You all are children, Since I have not found in my many travels anyone but white guys sexually attractive I am a racist? I also like to say on my profile what I am looking for and I do agree it is wrong to blatantly say what you are not looking for. Just block ’em.
The whole thing is pretty frustrating, I run into all the time. Its fine if you have a preference, but some people are just such fucking assholes about it. I’m finally to the point where I don’t let it bother me as much, but it was incredibly difficult having to go yet another level of discrimination when I first came out. Tis life I suppose.
If you exclude an entire race of people from your dating pool you are, by definition, a RACIST. It’s one thing to have a preference, but NO blacks NO asians is just racism. How can you know you won’t be into someone until you meet them…unless you’re a racist?
Truth hurts, doesn’t it, racists?
Being half-Asian, and constantly being ignored once guys get a face shot from me, this is a very frustrating reality. However, I don’t consider it “racist”. Everyone has preferences: age, physical condition, dick size lol…The gay guys that can stand on their soap box and claim to have no physical requirements to date someone are very, very few. And they’re probably lying. Yes, he could have worded it better. Yes, he’s a douche. No, I can’t automatically call him a racist (he still could be, but that can be based just on his sexual preferences).
Electronic anonymity promotes rude and choppy communication. That’s the main issue–people hiding behind a phone without much of any sense of individual politeness or social propriety, which is too bad for all of us, including the perpetrators.
@Dave
No, it’s racism dressed up as preference. You are okay to be raising the point about preference – but there is a piece missing in people’s understanding of the subject matter.
Anyone who has spent any substantial amount of time in a foreign culture will automatically understand.
Once you go through an ‘acclimitisation’ phase, suddenly, your attraction evolves. What seemed mishappen, different, unattractive shifts. Perception is powerful. In India, Indians start to seem hot after a while and in Asia, likewise.
People are falsely assuming that there is an ‘absolute’ hegemonic, invariant ‘beauty’.
There actually isn’t! And our disgusting words ‘no Asians’ or worse ‘no Rice’ is simply vomitronic language – harmful to the reader – and to non-Asians in more insidious ways for the normalising of racial abuse.
Gosh I am so tired of these racist uneducated ass wholes.That really shoes how ignorent they are. If someones not your type, theyres no need to be a prick about it. Im biracial white & black so I find it totally insulting when people act like this. Theyrea better ways to go about things in a more respectful mannerism and chat etiquesy..That shows not only is he a douche, but and educated prick.
Everyone has a preference and I agree that you should be allowed to say looking for under 29 or only blacks or whatever. But this guy already hit our friend up on grinder. So if you’re already attracted to him, what does race matter
If you are already attracted to me that you are messaging me, what does race matter? This is the tell sign that it is not a preference issue. I honestly prefer men i think are hot. If you think I’m hot then learn I’m black and that turns you off that is what we call a racist. the issue is with race not how attracted to me you are. I have been told many times How hot I am. THan if I weren’t black how they’d love to fuck me. I enjoy attractive people. All races! Because we are all human. Honestly in this case he is a racist. in some cases ie… if you like pale skinned men then I guess my chocolate skin wont do it for you… but if you like my face how hot I am and my skin color is the only thing deterring you then we have an issue or rather You have an issue.
what’s the problem? i’m white and i only prefer white guys. I have black friends who only prefer black guys and i have latino friends who only prefer latinos. People have their types, how is that racist? you guys are fuckin annoying.
@kevin101 – i agree – i’m asian and this guy you talked to is a self-hating idiot.
in regard to the original post, it’s one thing for someone to have a preferred look, it’s another to just go about searching for your type in a racist, dehumanising and insulting manner.
I would like to meet/marry the messagee (or whoever’s phone that is), cause that is totally my sense of humor.
I can’t take most of the people on grindr seriously because they message me with shit like that. Totally makes it difficult to meet guys.
sigh. lol
Sexual attraction is such a complicated thing that I would rather withhold judgement in most cases, when it comes to weight, color, etc, but there is still such a thing as civility and common decency. No guy has any business treated someone who is interested in him like he’s less than human just because he belongs to a different ‘race.’ If another man finds me unattractive, OK, I can deal with that. What I completely reject is being pushed aside because of my background. I’m half Jewish, half Latino. I’ve encountered guys who were attracted to me, but when they learned I’m half Mexican, they lose interest. I’ve had Arab guys interested in me and make anti-Semitic comments, not realizing that my ‘middle eastern’ looks are Jewish, not Arab. So hopefully more of you see that rejecting a guy on account of his ‘race’ is a very superficial thing is not a matter of so-called ‘racially specific’ looks, but more of a matter of prejudices learned from childhood and the media. You don’t have to go home with me or be friends with me, just treat me like a human being.
The idea of anonymous sex is so disgusting that the racial issue is a secondary sub-plot in this sordid picture. This is the reason why I no longer seek to associate with gay men because they are continuosly on the prowl, have no idea what a loving, monogamous partnership is, nor want one, and I have no use for them. I might as well have been born without sexual organs, at this point, because at age 48, after never having met a man worth a shit from Dallas to San Francisco to LA and back again, I doubt that I am going to anytime soon. I happen to prefer black and mixed-race men with smooth, buttery, hairless skin, and you should see how fast the other white guys flagged any personal ads that I placed in the past. Such hypocrites! So fuck them all, I am done. I will no longer subject myself to the gay normal, which is a new sex partner every day, hell several per day in some places. NO THANKS.
#22 has to be my favorite post of all of the ones on here…Bryan calls this guy uneducated and then posts this displaying his wn apparent lack of education:
“Gosh I am so tired of these racist uneducated ass wholes (obviously, to the educated, this shoulde be “holes”).That really shoes (shoud be “shows” maybe??) how ignorent (if you can’t spell ignorant, are you ignorant?) they are. If someones not your type, theyres (hmmmmm, lets try, “there’s” to replace there is…) no need to be a prick about it. Im biracial white & black so I find it totally insulting when people act like this. Theyrea (they are a??? Guess we should give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he meant “there are”) better ways to go about things in a more respectful mannerism (definition: a distinctive gesture, habit, or way of doing something…guess again we’re left to assume he meant “manner”) and chat etiquesy (I looked just to make sure this wasn’t a word I was unfamiliar with, and it’s definitely not even a word…guess we’re left to that assuming thing again that he really intended “etiquette”)..That shows not only is he a douche, but and educated prick (so you called him ignorant, but now he’s educated?!?!?! Or did we mean “uneducated”).”
To everyone who scrolled past em, read Michael and David’s comments ^^^
I think what is written in a public profile is fair game but I don’t think private chats should be posted on this site.
PS Michael hit the nail on the head by saying he wants to be treated like a human being.
The most disturbing thing about Grindr/Scruff/Manhunt etc is the way many of the users don’t think twice about being rude to people.
Offensive message? By all means, block or retaliate.
Blocking or ignoring someone who is polite but isn’t your type? Very rude and immature.
“Beauty fades; dumb is forever” — My grandmother
I will never understand those who find this to be racist. Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean that I’m sexist, does it? I just PREFER men. That doesn’t mean that I hate women. Similarly, just because I prefer white men doesn’t mean that I hate black men. It just means that I have a preference. Being upfront on sites like grindr is the only way to achieve what you’re looking for anyways.
@Alex, before they chatted, he would have figured out if they were asian or black. Not only that, but how do you know if they were meeting up for sex.
Admin = A sexually frustrated ugly minority
Matilda- same comment all the bloody time. Give it up.
To the commenters who say they don’y understand why this is racist:
Having a sexual preference is fine but preference is not exclusionary. I prefer blacks and latinos but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been with any white guys or asians. My longest relationship was actually with a guy who is asian. I prefer guys around my age but I’ve had some great sex with guys nearly twice my age. However, once a preference turns to exclusion (“no old,” “no blacks,” “no asians,” “no latinos,” “whites only,” “blacks only,” “cd/trans only”) then it becomes prejudice & discrimination. This is true regardless of the race, age, sexual preference, gender and/or gender identity of the person who created the profile.
Racism, as a system of oppression which is based on race and designed to benefit the oppressor, employs prejudice and racial discrimination as its main tools. So a white guy who only wants to talk and have sex with other white guys is therefore racist. This is not true if the person who created the profile is part of the oppressed group. So an asian guy who only wants to talk and have sex with white guys is not racist just only discriminatory.
Had the receiver of this message been someone with white skin, blond hair and blue eyes but of latino and south asian descent, would the sender have denied to speak with them? This is why its racist.
While not condoning racist behavior at all, I find all these hysterical self-aggrandizing denouncements of racism to be pretty ridiculous. It’s perfectly okay to be an ageist in the LGBT community, apparently. Have you picked up a queer magazine lately? If you aren’t under 35, sport the latest trendy coiff and appear as if you work out six days a week, you simply do not exist. It’s absolutely disgusting. Is this how we represent the brothers and sisters who fought for the very freedoms and rights that young gays take for granted? Evidently yes – so stop being a damn hypocrite, squealing your indignation over real or alleged racism when your own attitudes in other equally meaningful areas are every bit as disgusting. Off the soapbox now…I said it and I’m glad.
I noticed that Adam didn’t respond here.
Seems he realized he couldn’t use this profile to cause trouble and irritation.
“LOL”
@Alex “I will never understand those who find this to be racist. Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean that I’m sexist, does it? I just PREFER men. That doesn’t mean that I hate women. Similarly, just because I prefer white men doesn’t mean that I hate black men. It just means that I have a preference. Being upfront on sites like grindr is the only way to achieve what you’re looking for anyways.”
No, Alex. I’m sorry to say: you are absolutely wrong, and I think you know it. Your sexual neuro-circuitry has biologically predisposed your attraction to men or women. In contrast, desire to have sex with racial types is learned and changeable.
Preference is like ice cream, as I regularly explain. I like acai and raspberry non-dairy sorbet. That doesn’t mean I won’t eat vanilla, chocolate and peanut butter chunks, mocha and frap and other good flavors. I like ice cream in general.
When one decides that he’s not going to have sex with any or all Asians/Blacks, that’s not a preference. That’s a completely prejudicial biased that he’s learned; likely due simply to a lack of regular exposure to Asians/Black.
Had you ever wonder why in this day and age many to most young White boys only want other White guys, while many/most older White men tend to shift their “preference” more towards Asians? If it’s all just a “preference”, you would see a bigger mixture than this ^^ quite salient, ubiquitous trend, right?
When are you going to accept the fact that this is all learned bigotry and that it could be corrected if one wants to?