The guy in the picture is a good friend of mine. He is indeed one of the smartest guys I have met albeit a little cocky. But he is cute and very open-minded. He dates all colors. Isn’t it good that a cute, young & successful Asian actually like Asians?
I love your generosity and the loyalty you extend your friend. You are probably empathising with his shame at this time, hence your supposrt.
But – did your friend stop to think and empathise with the people who were going to feel *body shame* when they read his comments?
More power to your friend for having one of those *bleep*ing hot, awesome, ripped bods – and to be honest – I really reckon Asian bods are often really hot!
However – does he really need to say those things? Body-nazi comes to mind.
My body assets are hard-earned and I exercise an hour a day to keep in shape, ride my bike an hour a day, and ride over 100 k a day.
But – I don’t pretend I’m special for the gains, and certainly am not stupid enough to be demeaning to someone who–for whatever reason–has chosen another form for their body.
Your friend would be much more attractive if he was a little more humble about his assets – silent confidence, a friendly beer drinker, sociable guy who has a mix of friends and who is not a dismissing *bleep* when out on the scene is far sexier than.
@Stephen – good to see another anti-racist, anti-douchebags guy addressing the discrimination going on rather than using this site to simply be snarky or bitchy at the douches and their defenders.
If you have checked out BJC’s website and if you’re in Melbourne (I’m guessing you’re Ozzie cuz you mentioned Pauline Hanson in one of your comments), send him an email cuz BJC and I are planning to meet up and discuss on this matter in person. If you’re interested in doing sumthin about this issue, join us for a chat.
u r very welcome – and yes, australian here, though that’s almost an oxymoron because we euros have only been here 200 years.
Yes – i am here to tackle discrimination. I have posted to bjc’s website – and in fact have connected with him – we are think tanking the interventions tab to see what emerges from the dialogue with the solution focus –
Ok, let me clarify my points.
I do not endorse his online arrogance. But in real life, this person is actually much less superfacial. I know for sure he places equal weight, if not more, on intelligence and personality in terms of attraction. Sometimes you can’t judge people online. It is like drunk people can behave drastically different from who they really are.
Asians are largely ignored in the gay community, sometimes blatantly discriminated. Just count how often “No Asian” comment appears.Finally we have someone here, who has the qualities and guts to say NO to White and embrace other races. I actually think it is a good thing.
BTW, I would like to tell that REAL douchbag Parker. He stands no chance whatsoever even if he doesn’t hate Asian that much. And yes, my friend is likely superior in every aspect to Parker, physically and intellectually, including **** size.
I imagine you are caught between trying to support him, whilst you recognise the problem at hand. That actually makes you a socially responsible, fair minded person, clearly capable of perspective taking on multiple levels.
Unfortunately, not everyone operates the way you do. Were they to do so, we wouldn’t need a douche-ometer.
As to your friend, my hopes are, then, that he reorganises his approach on grindr and assumes a more sensible position.
As to ‘why’ he thinks he needs to be arrogant, when on display — and much more likeable to his friends, we can only surmise and speculate. I have some ideas about it. They use horrible language like narcissistic body image – which is cruel if we are not careful about how we apply the term….the modern ‘tomato stocks’ of ye olde world. The word is used too incautiously.
It’s a common theme though, isn’t it, amongst our community. What do we do about it — to help people *grow up*
There are people, lIke my friend, who are open to criticism and willing to change. Those people should not be marked as douchebags. But there are people like Parker and a few others here. They simply lack any common sense. I doubt you can even ask them to change their behavior at all, let alone their justification against people of different color. I wouldn’t even bother. These people are really beyond human effort. besides I have enough to worry about than getting angry because someone doesn’t like me physically or thinks my kind is inferior to their kind. Who cares! I only need one. Many quality people are and will be attracted by me. I did, in myiature days, rejected many super goodlooking guys, including the so-called A&F types. Not because they are not physically attractive, but coz of personality issue and stupidity.
I don’t thnk this guy is THAT douchey but I do agree that there is a degree of douchebagness to him.
As for Parker no one should even say his name, let alone respond to his posts. He is a troll and has no life. We all know how miserable he must be deep down, with only is racism and ignorance to keep him company. We should be feel sorry for him.
No-one I know is beyond our help. It’s all the people around the douchebags and who aren’t who have an important effect for these things.
We don’t just resign ourselves to a changeless world. If we did, the Romans would still be feeding the Lions with the Christians, there wouldn’t be an international human rights movement, a world bank, globalisation, international criminal court, united nations, human rights and equal opportunities commission, various ombudsmans’ offices and many anti-douche-bag initiatives.
Wow, some of the people leaving comments are just as bad the people discriminating and being douches in the photo. The first thing people seem to do retaliate and do the same thing we are calling the people out on, which is judging a person by their photo. Seems Hypocritical…
Mm not really douchy. A clear picture.
And no it’s not ‘ amazing ‘ that a successful Asian guy finds other Asians attractive, I have many ‘ sticky rice’ friends here in Asia. I’d rather meet a smart Asian guy than a whiny yank any day of the week.
Ah fuck body shame.
If a person is ashamed about their body they should forgo 30 minutes of TV and go for a walk or jog.
Try not eating crap and treat your own body with respect.
And I’m an ex-fatty.
With that ^^ settled,
I don’t often times know how to respond to dating profiles who require their repliers to “show some form of intelligence in first reply”. What exactly are they expecting you to say, when nothing in their profile established a topic to be intelligibly discussed? Already, look at the grindr profile here. I see a guy in a dress shirt, grinning lopsidedly at the camera. What “intelligent” first hit-up reply am I supposed to give? Should I comment on the size, shape and anatomy of his eyes and lips and speak on how it logically benefits the human race? Should I mention how his eyes don’t appear to have a deep gaze and what he must do to make his gaze look more penetrating? Again, what kind of response should I give him to satisfy his “intelligent response” requirement?
Similarly, a lot of grindr heads express liking to block people who start a conversation with nothing more than “Hey” or “What’s up”. I suppose there really is nothing mentally stimulating about such a generic, cliched salutation. Then again, as I pointed out, what exactly are they expecting us to say, when their profile alone did not establish a particular intriguing subject to discuss?
So Asian and clothed?
Does he mean he’s discriminating against people who don’t have bodies?
Hey, I’m nondescriptly proportionate just like this guy! I’m speshul!
ok, so pretty much only people who are not fit can message him
A body like his = a 12 year old boy’s body. Vomit.
Ok Mr Man. So show us your body
Well at least he didn’t say “no Asians”
So to sum it up. He wants to be contacted by his brother.
Picky and Asian — great combo. Probably has the body of a 9 year old girl. What a bitch.
The guy in the picture is a good friend of mine. He is indeed one of the smartest guys I have met albeit a little cocky. But he is cute and very open-minded. He dates all colors. Isn’t it good that a cute, young & successful Asian actually like Asians?
No offense, but he’s not doing anyone a favor by “dating people of all colors”. Even if that is sorta hard to believe…
Okay person-who-is-a-good-friend-of-body-like-douche.
I love your generosity and the loyalty you extend your friend. You are probably empathising with his shame at this time, hence your supposrt.
But – did your friend stop to think and empathise with the people who were going to feel *body shame* when they read his comments?
More power to your friend for having one of those *bleep*ing hot, awesome, ripped bods – and to be honest – I really reckon Asian bods are often really hot!
However – does he really need to say those things? Body-nazi comes to mind.
My body assets are hard-earned and I exercise an hour a day to keep in shape, ride my bike an hour a day, and ride over 100 k a day.
But – I don’t pretend I’m special for the gains, and certainly am not stupid enough to be demeaning to someone who–for whatever reason–has chosen another form for their body.
Your friend would be much more attractive if he was a little more humble about his assets – silent confidence, a friendly beer drinker, sociable guy who has a mix of friends and who is not a dismissing *bleep* when out on the scene is far sexier than.
@Stephen – good to see another anti-racist, anti-douchebags guy addressing the discrimination going on rather than using this site to simply be snarky or bitchy at the douches and their defenders.
If you have checked out BJC’s website and if you’re in Melbourne (I’m guessing you’re Ozzie cuz you mentioned Pauline Hanson in one of your comments), send him an email cuz BJC and I are planning to meet up and discuss on this matter in person. If you’re interested in doing sumthin about this issue, join us for a chat.
If not, just keep doing what you’re doing man.
Cheers, buddy…
u r very welcome – and yes, australian here, though that’s almost an oxymoron because we euros have only been here 200 years.
Yes – i am here to tackle discrimination. I have posted to bjc’s website – and in fact have connected with him – we are think tanking the interventions tab to see what emerges from the dialogue with the solution focus –
great to meet you to and kind regards
Ok, let me clarify my points.
I do not endorse his online arrogance. But in real life, this person is actually much less superfacial. I know for sure he places equal weight, if not more, on intelligence and personality in terms of attraction. Sometimes you can’t judge people online. It is like drunk people can behave drastically different from who they really are.
Asians are largely ignored in the gay community, sometimes blatantly discriminated. Just count how often “No Asian” comment appears.Finally we have someone here, who has the qualities and guts to say NO to White and embrace other races. I actually think it is a good thing.
BTW, I would like to tell that REAL douchbag Parker. He stands no chance whatsoever even if he doesn’t hate Asian that much. And yes, my friend is likely superior in every aspect to Parker, physically and intellectually, including **** size.
@ his friend
I imagine you are caught between trying to support him, whilst you recognise the problem at hand. That actually makes you a socially responsible, fair minded person, clearly capable of perspective taking on multiple levels.
Unfortunately, not everyone operates the way you do. Were they to do so, we wouldn’t need a douche-ometer.
As to your friend, my hopes are, then, that he reorganises his approach on grindr and assumes a more sensible position.
As to ‘why’ he thinks he needs to be arrogant, when on display — and much more likeable to his friends, we can only surmise and speculate. I have some ideas about it. They use horrible language like narcissistic body image – which is cruel if we are not careful about how we apply the term….the modern ‘tomato stocks’ of ye olde world. The word is used too incautiously.
It’s a common theme though, isn’t it, amongst our community. What do we do about it — to help people *grow up*
There are people, lIke my friend, who are open to criticism and willing to change. Those people should not be marked as douchebags. But there are people like Parker and a few others here. They simply lack any common sense. I doubt you can even ask them to change their behavior at all, let alone their justification against people of different color. I wouldn’t even bother. These people are really beyond human effort. besides I have enough to worry about than getting angry because someone doesn’t like me physically or thinks my kind is inferior to their kind. Who cares! I only need one. Many quality people are and will be attracted by me. I did, in myiature days, rejected many super goodlooking guys, including the so-called A&F types. Not because they are not physically attractive, but coz of personality issue and stupidity.
My point is that some are merely unsavable. Don’t get bothered. Save your energy for something more positive.
I don’t thnk this guy is THAT douchey but I do agree that there is a degree of douchebagness to him.
As for Parker no one should even say his name, let alone respond to his posts. He is a troll and has no life. We all know how miserable he must be deep down, with only is racism and ignorance to keep him company. We should be feel sorry for him.
The operative word being “should”. I don’t.
Ps I’m writing this on my iPhone and the autocorrect is fucking up both my spelling and my grammar. I don’t have a learning disorder.
“These people are really beyond human effort.”
No-one I know is beyond our help. It’s all the people around the douchebags and who aren’t who have an important effect for these things.
We don’t just resign ourselves to a changeless world. If we did, the Romans would still be feeding the Lions with the Christians, there wouldn’t be an international human rights movement, a world bank, globalisation, international criminal court, united nations, human rights and equal opportunities commission, various ombudsmans’ offices and many anti-douche-bag initiatives.
use your voice – and stop the douche-bags
You can stop the douchebag behavior, but you cannot change their mind. Why bother?!
LOL, poor guy, P is in good shape tho, he might be a little arrogant….
Wow, some of the people leaving comments are just as bad the people discriminating and being douches in the photo. The first thing people seem to do retaliate and do the same thing we are calling the people out on, which is judging a person by their photo. Seems Hypocritical…
Mm not really douchy. A clear picture.
And no it’s not ‘ amazing ‘ that a successful Asian guy finds other Asians attractive, I have many ‘ sticky rice’ friends here in Asia. I’d rather meet a smart Asian guy than a whiny yank any day of the week.
Ah fuck body shame.
If a person is ashamed about their body they should forgo 30 minutes of TV and go for a walk or jog.
Try not eating crap and treat your own body with respect.
And I’m an ex-fatty.
This guy is not even fat! he’s really normal looking! sure! he’s not some veiny steroid queen you’d see in the USA but he looks normal!
Tiny dick alert
He’s got a point.
Why should he lower his standards, to deal with your BS?
Whereas you have absolutely no standards Adam as you seem happy to debase yourself for anyone
LOL
Awww, poor Tippy, pissed off at the world for having standards…that he doesn’t meet.:)
triggered
Well whats wtong with guy ? Looks normal, friendly, …hes not being offensive just not particularly friendly. Undouche him !
Craig,
He’s been labeled a “douche” because he’s rejected both them and their poor social skills.
He really needs to open his eyes
Adam, be quiet.
With that ^^ settled,
I don’t often times know how to respond to dating profiles who require their repliers to “show some form of intelligence in first reply”. What exactly are they expecting you to say, when nothing in their profile established a topic to be intelligibly discussed? Already, look at the grindr profile here. I see a guy in a dress shirt, grinning lopsidedly at the camera. What “intelligent” first hit-up reply am I supposed to give? Should I comment on the size, shape and anatomy of his eyes and lips and speak on how it logically benefits the human race? Should I mention how his eyes don’t appear to have a deep gaze and what he must do to make his gaze look more penetrating? Again, what kind of response should I give him to satisfy his “intelligent response” requirement?
Similarly, a lot of grindr heads express liking to block people who start a conversation with nothing more than “Hey” or “What’s up”. I suppose there really is nothing mentally stimulating about such a generic, cliched salutation. Then again, as I pointed out, what exactly are they expecting us to say, when their profile alone did not establish a particular intriguing subject to discuss?
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