Kendal OH MY GOD it’s almost enough to make me wanna kill myself when I hear people like you say “what’s homophobic about the term straight acting”? One last time for the dummies: to say you want a straight acting guy is to say you prefer straights to gays, it implies that to at straight is better than to be gay, it implies therefore that gay is somehow not as good as straight!!! GET IT? that was in plain English PLEASE GET IT!!!!!
Kendull, er I mean Kendal, is not the sharpest tool in the shed. He STILL may not understand it. It’s not his fault, it’s his parents’ fault: Two stupid people decided to breed
…. I’m not saying it’s not homohphobic im just wondering why someone has to be self-loathing if they say that they’re straight acting. he is a bit of a douche i’m not questioning that. DO YOU GET IT!!! I PUT IT IN PLAIN ENGLISH FOR YOU!!!!!!!!! because if you actually read what i said you would understand what i mean, it’s dummies like you that make me want to kill myself.
@parker it’s actually you who’s not the brightest crayon in the box for not understanding my very obvious question.. to put it in a way your simple brain would understand. f***ing read more dumbass
Personally I think that people who describe themselves as “straight acting” tend to have more issues with their sexuality than those that use another term. It’s not always true, but just something I’ve noticed – they see themselves as acting to conform to male heterosexual norms, which usually means they aren’t completely comfortable with the fact that they are gay. If they were to use a term like “masculine” they would be (in general) not as likely to have problems with their sexuality.
I know this bloke and he ain’t a douche, I think the douches are the people that post other people pics on this site who have obviously been rejected/blocked.
And u can bag me out too but I like men bc they are men not wen the act all femme if that was the case I would b with girls, who cares wat his preferences are aleast he is honest.
Most of u r giving shit to someone u don’t know, if someone isn’t to ur liking or they are rude MOVE ON!!! Don’t take it so personnal
AHahahahaa. WOW. This is actually me. Thanks guys for the publicity. I am actually a intellectual guy studying 3rd year Law at university. To presuppose anything about me otherwise makes you look very stupid.
And I find it funny that the term ‘straight acting’ is automatically associated with being ignorant. With the lack of a better word, straight acting effectively filters out what I am not seeking sexually. That is my sexual preference. I am not a homophobe. Nor do I hate queens.
He actually isn’t dumb and he actually isn’t fake he is a really good guy with a caring heart and someone that would do anything for his friends so the jealous motherfucker that decided to put him on this site is a low life loser that had no shot and should seriously get a life or end their miserable one.
Haha wow, browsing through and I see one of my best mates posted here.
So lets state a few things:
1. I would honestly LOVE to see and pick apart the profiles of the people who have thought they can pick apart someone else’s.
2. Judging a book by it’s cover? are you 12? he studies law and is a genuine ambitious guy.
3. ‘straight acting’ is a preference, it’s saying that they don’t like queeny guys; queeny guys I’m sure being the majority writing comments on this post.
4. Some pretty douchey Comments on a site that targets douchebags
sigh. Can we ask ourselves why we need to exclude people that aren’t masculine or “straight-acting”? By doing so, you’re telling people that you’re homophobic. I consider myself masculine and people usually act surprised when they find out I’m gay. I have friends that are more feminine and flamboyant. Can’t we in the gay community stop judging each other? Aren’t there enough forces working against us?
I hate negative shit on profiles. It tells me that the person posting that crap is so vain and they get so many responses they have to filter people out ahead of time. If you receive the compliment of a response you’re not interested in, say thank you and move on.
BTW, having your dick in a guy’s mouth or ass isn’t very “straight-acting”. So I’d drop that term for any bi or gay guy.
Don’t mean to offend anyone. There is obviously different interpretations to the term straight acting. ‘Masculine’ does not infer that you are straight acting. The guys I have spoken to that are supposedly ‘masculine’…
Tman, how does my sexual preference make me a homophobe? Everyone here is judging me with a few words and one picture. I could make the same judgement you, call you a fkn queen and tell you to go get fucked. I have friends that are more flamboyant and effeminate. They are just friends, I do not fuck them.
People on here need to grow up. I hold double standards? How about you making stereotypical assumptions based on a few words and a picture, then having a little fit about me using a stereotypical word to filter out people I do not want to have sex with.
It’s just that straight-acting is a silly word for gays to use. The only way one could legitimately use it is to describe someone who’s genuinely attracted to the opposite sex. To describe a gay man as straight-acting is inherently contradictory and nonsensical.
Though I get what gays mean when they say it–just a guy who’s gay but isn’t flamboyant/displays no stereotypical gay man/queeny characteristics. There’s a perfectly good, sensical word for that. But apparently “masculine” isn’t “straight acting” enough for the STR8 law student on Grindr.
You are indeed a homophobe. Examine what you call a “sexual preference” and ask yourself where it comes from.
Why do you “filter people out” in your profile? You don’t HAVE to fuck everyone that responds. You don’t have to even meet up with them. One phone call and you can tell that someone isn’t your type. You don’t have to insult someone with your profile.
Think about a gay man that might show feminine tendencies. He’s been harassed and bullied. Then he sees your profile in what is supposed to be a gay-friendly community. How would he feel?
Do you see that’s what makes you seem like a douche? Your profile should show what your friend says you are “a really good guy with a caring heart”.
There are enough non-gay people out there putting gays down and bullying them. We don’t need to do it ourselves.
A) this guy is one of the most loving people I know and a great friend to many gays (“Blokey” or otherwise)
B) being sexually attracted to “masculine” men does not make him a homophobe. If people who are maybe a bit femme get picked on at school then that Is very sad, but that does not mean this guy should have sex with them
C) there seems to be a consensus that by saying “straight acting” he is meaning “masculine” and that it is wrong for him to use the term “straight acting”. If people are understanding what he is meanin to say but are getting themselves riled up over the semantics then they should get over it.
D) what is the problem with him letting people on Grindr know what his preferences are? If he is using it purely for picking up then he has every right, and why not be to the point? There is no point in him wasting a lot of time talking to people who he will ultimately not be attracted to as he probably HAS A LIFE to live outside of Grindr.
The person who made this page should have made a category for himself and all of those who are judging this guy are probably the type of guys he would reject, mainly because he doesn’t like arseholes (no pun intended).
Lkyboy, you just don’t get it. He may well be a loving person, but the words in his profile hurt people.
No one is saying he has to have sex with “femme” people. He just doesn’t have to malign them in his profile.
If he’s so busy that he can’t filter his emails like everyone else, then why is he on Grindr? How many guys dos he have to fuck?
BTW, I am NOT “femme”. You don’t have to be part of a group of bullied people to defend them. Unlike you, I’d rather defend the bullied than the bully.
If you’re truly a friend why don’t you ask “Blokey Boy” to change his profile and then you can manage his Grindr fan mail for him?
I would get over it, except that he used “straight acting” and “intellectual” in the same sentence, which is just a little bit intellectually dishonest.
It shouldn’t offend someone saying straight acting if they r comfortable with themselves by being a flaming homo, if they’re not then they have some self work to do! Not bobys problem! And the term straight acting isn’t an act it’s guys who r gay who r being themselves but using the term is just the easiest way to describe it so to all u mofos back the f up
It shouldn’t offend someone saying straight acting if they r comfortable with themselves by being a flaming homo, if they’re not then they have some self work to do! Not bobys problem! And the term straight acting isn’t an act it’s guys who r gay who r being themselves but using the term is just the easiest way to describe it so to all u haters who ainters back up 🙂
“He may well be a loving person, but the words in his profile hurt people.”
…lolwut? Please read the info again.
If you still feel it offends, ask yourself:
Just how fragile are you/do you believe others to be?
I also think that the people who post guys on here are bigger douches than the ones they are accusing. I reckon 90% of the guys here shouldn’t be here.
Not into a specific race and they state it, so you label them a douche?
God, act like an adult and choose to NOT post their picture on a website. It’s what the majority of people do.
Also: Labeling a fellow gay a homophobe just because he isn’t interested in pursuing a hook up/relationship/whatever with twinks who cover themselves in glitter is beyond retarded.
Straight acting = “guys who [are] gay who [are] being themselves”. Then shouldn’t the word be gay acting? Since the gay guys [are], you know, being themselves?
The term doesn’t describe “it” at all. If you had read all the replies, you would know why.
Stimpy, you sound just like a bully would. Congratulations on that. Funny that someone saying hateful things thinks he can get away with calling others haters. No one is falling for it.
You are the hater and the bully here and the one with “self work” that needs to be done.
Let’s get one thing clear, people like myself and Boby are what the general public would consider ‘hot people’. We choose not to associate ourselves with ugly, fat or poor people like I’m sure some of you are.
It’s part of the image we need to uphold in order to keep reign over you small people. Haterz gon hate…….. Mires gon mire…….
And as for the straight acting thing… Go burn your bras you idiots. People like you, are the reason why hot people like boby and myself, now have to call fairy penguins, little penguins….
My name is James… In some cultures I am considered a god… Worship me
Talking about offending someone? 95% of the comments directed at me are offensive. All I did describe what I am into, and not into sexually.
Re: the term ‘straight acting’… I use it to define a certain type of gay guy. Twink, bear, cub, gym junkie, straight acting. No one fits into any one of these categories specifically, but it allows me to describe what I am seeking sexually. With the lack of a better word, it describes a LGBT person who does not exhibit the appearance or mannerisms of a gay stereotype.
I get that the term itself can be seen as damaging to the gay community, as it associates certain attributes with homosexuality and that it implies that they are acting and not being themselves.
I use it by strictly referring it to ones mannerisms. Taken in context such as a application as superficial and transparent as Grindr, I thought it would be blatantly obvious that my intentions were completely superficial. I do not know as a person. I’m sure we would get along fine even if you are not ‘straight acting’ .
Mind boggles at the guys on here…
Try and see where I am coming from before you get defensive and judge me on a superficial basis, just as I have supposedly done.
If pointing out that you’re choice of words can hurt someone is offensive, then we’re offensive. Fine.
You’re a young guy. You may not take it seriously and may not mean any harm. But gay kids are killing themselves. They can’t control their mannerisms any more than you can.
Please answer a question for me. What harm would there be for you to take that out of your profile? Would you be so inundated with “stereotypical gay guys” that you couldn’t still have fun on Grindr? I doubt it.
Try for a minute to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. When you list only what you are seeking sexually, it comes off as selfish and vain to most people.
BTW, you don’t see being superficial as offensive?
Given the medium is Grindr, I dont see superficial as being offensive. How profoundly can you get to know someone from a profile off Grindr?
I also disagree that my sexual preference leads to gay kids killing themselves. I have no problem with effeminate guys. In fact I have many close mates that are just that. I just dont want to sleep with them. I would never bully anyone. If my wording transpires as indirect bullying then sorry.
cant ugly/fat/poor people just get along with people like me and boby?
we wont touch u – we fear we will catch the ugly/fat/poor but we can talk…. from a distance i guess… im not opposed to that… just dont get too close is what im really trying to say. im sure ur all really nice people but i dont care for it? its just my preference… if i ever had an ugly friend, they would b with me for the soul purpose for comparison
“this is my ugly/fat/poor friend (insert name here)… hes really nice tho”
if they wanted to change, they can… there are avenues available for people from the ugly/fat/poor walk of life – im so sick of this “i was born this way/i have a glandular problem/my mums a junkie” excuse… its old and outdated..
i say the same thing to quadriplegics – “get some motivation!!!!!!!”
they dont need their wheelchairs… they’re just lazy.
i think we all just need to learn our place in life… if we were in the jungle, who would u be?
boby and i would be lions… so u CANT be that… its beyond you… but u could settle for a vulture or something – taking the sloppy seconds of us hot people. we do our bit for charity…. thats a lie… i dont… im sure boby doesnt either… but its ncie to say we do… it makes people think that we care and at the end of the day, thats what really matters… the thought… we thought about it… we wont… but we thought about it 🙂
Boby, you should volunteer at your local LGBT center and meet some people. I have met many troubled young men that are constantly bullied and harassed because they’re not “masculine” enough. And yes, they are on the verge of suicide when they come there. The slightest thing could tip the scales. Words are powerful. Whether they’re on Grindr or not.
You didn’t address my question either. How would it hurt you to remove that from your profile?
You are a very, very selfish person that puts yourself and your sexual needs and preferences over the feelings of others. As you mature and get more life experience you’ll understand what I mean. Right now, you’re a spoiled, selfish little boy. Let’s hope you grow out of it.
I think that this site is pretty horrible, we are all gay yeah?? So why the fuck do we fight amongst ourselves when we have the majority of society. This guy is actually one of my best mates and he is kindest person I know…..but because some twisted old bitter queen who invented this site is probably bored of there own sad lonely life they need to pick on other ppl due to there own insecurities. The term “straight acting” is a term used by alot of ppl. It’s his type!! And probably the type for most because “we” are attracted to men…..not men who act like girls. so why don’t you all go have a look in the mirror before you pass judgment on someone you dont even know. It make me sick to think that young men take there lives due to this exact type of behavior. Bitter bitter twisted people. Grow up because this type of behavior an website is the reason why so many of the LGBT community take there own lives…….this is bullying
Yes life is hard but people need to at some point take responsibility for themselves and stop blaming other people. If a young guy sadly chooses to take hes own life this is on no part bobys fault, rather look at what this young man has been through leading up to that point in hes life.
Having been at the point of highly considering suicide several times in my early years of accepting myself for who i am growing up in country NSW, I can surely say i would not have been trawling through Grindr, i had other issues and things on my mind at the time and i would not have been looking to grindr for help or comfort.
Id like to know what person would take to heart, and be really that offend at boby having put “straight acting” on hes grindr profile, at the end of the day, they dont know him other then a little pic and few words, really what does this one guys opinion matter to you any way? Bobys profile is simply an advertisement of who he is and as we all do when we see an Ad for something we dont like or agree with on tv we simple ignore it… think about it, are you actually going to even take that much notice of it? rather wouldn’t you just move on to the next little pic and judge that guy as “oh hes hot” or “no no not my type” clearly the person who made this most likely wanted to hook up with boby and have a fuck, and because boby wasnt interested or didnt respond in 2 seconds (because he has a life outside of grindr) they passed judgement on him and decided to post him on this site,
We all need to grow up and stop passing judgment on each other we are who we are and we have to learn to accept it, we also have to learn to accept others opinions and points of view, boby likes men who are masculine and are comfortable being themselves rather then conforming to societies stereotype of a gay man
and this guy as many have said is actually a great guy and should not be judged because he is simply being who he is and being honest and up front with people,
Gotta love that were all meant to be adults here, sounds like were all still in highschool and bitching about pointless shit!!
There’s nothing wrong with preferring masculine guys. I’m masculine and am not attracted to fems usually. But the word “straight acting” is an uneducated and nonsensical word to use for reasons I have demonstrated in this thread (reasons that no one in this thread has directly challenged either).
Your suggestion that fems are not being themselves and are actively try to recreate a gay stereotype is ridiculous. Being sexually attracted to males is a biologically, inherently female characteristic. It comes as no surprise, then, that gays display some female characteristics. You say it as if all gay men have an innate masculinity about them, that fems just cover that masculinity up and, inexplicably, put on traits that lead to them being discriminated against and judged by society. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Ahhhhhh Tman maybe you should go to your mirror and hate yourself some more you miserable crumb. All you people sitting behind your computer hating on one of my best friends is fucking sickening…….it amazes me how viscious and vile the gay community can really be. Tman you are quite clearly the stand out performer in this one your moral compass is way off the mark and you should really go ask yourself a few questions as to why you think it is appropriate to slate someone you don’t even know. Your words are harsh an offensive and it clearly shows that you are a sad sad Lonly twisted person with little respect for anyone. This site should be taken down and those who created it should be dragged over the coals. Let’s say that BOBY wasnt happy with who he was let’s say that he did have tendencies to hurt himself like many young gay men!! let’s say that because of all the judgmental comments made due to the fact some insecure little queen got his nose out of joint and decided he would name an shame many of the people on Grindr ends up taking his own life all because someone thought it was appropriate to create such a despicable site. you are literally one of nastiest pieces of work I have ever come across and it is very entertaining to see how so many of you that are hating on BOBY try and sound more educated then you really are……I am sure the term “straight acting” is one of the most non offensive words we as gay men have heard before don’t you agree??
i just want to say this…. being beautiful is as much a curse as what it is a blessing… sure everyone wants us and shit… but like then we have to constantly defend are beauty to ugly people… its hard! i understand bobys pain – i go thru this every day… someone always has something negative to say about my sheer beauty… but ive learnt to deal with it… just like these feminine boys that boby doesnt find SEXUALLY attractive need to do… i accepted my beauty by the age of two… i knew it… i learnt…. i lived it… and now im loving it…
EMBRACE YOUR FEMININE QUALITIES…
i embraced my beauty and so can u with ur femininity…. once u accept who u are, u can start doing things like…. using incorrect grammar… like too many ellipses… with too many periods… and being better than everyone else..
NOT JUST A PREFERENCE
Alex Rowlson goes head-to-head with the troubling terminology of our desires
We’ve all been there.
You visit a hookup or dating website, cruise somebody’s profile and are confronted with the list: no fats; no femmes; no Asians; no blacks; masc only; my age or younger; str8-acting, you be too; non-scene; and on and on. What we find is a lot of hate when all we want is head.
“Gay men have forgotten how to have sex,” says Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore, editor of the forthcoming anthology Why Are Faggots So Afraid of Faggots? “For so long that was supposed to be something gay men were good at, but I’m not so sure anymore. They might be good at the technique but not the openness. Sex should be about opening possibilities, not closing them off.”
The negative language so prevalent on Craigslist and Grindr seems to signal that the culture of sexual liberation has been replaced by sexual segregation.
Gay sexual oppression is catalogued painfully on the Douchebags of Grindr blog, which sorts prejudiced profiles based on everything from racism and sexism to self-hating homophobia. But even though we see it everywhere, most people are as willing to admit to the exclusionary aspects of their desires as Lindsay Lohan is to submit to drug testing — statements are qualified by “Sorry, that’s just what I’m into” or “No hard feelings, it’s just my preference.”
Sycamore says that while people have the right to say what they’re attracted to, they have a responsibility to watch how they say it. “On the one hand, people are stating their preference, but on the other, these are not neutral terms. If we were living in a culture where everything was the same, it wouldn’t be a problem. But when sexual preference reinforces dominant systems of power in an unquestioning way, that’s when it becomes problematic.”
Michael J Faris, co-author of the essay “Fucking with Fucking Online: Advocating for Indiscriminate Promiscuity,” believes that sexual oppression too often is unexamined. “Desiring one thing more than another I don’t see as a bad thing,” he says. “When you say, ‘I won’t date a black person or won’t sleep with a black person,’ that’s what I see as being racist. If you can’t interrogate your desire, that’s a problem.”
Sociologist Adam Isaiah Green, a faculty member at the Bonham Centre for Sexual Diversity Studies at the University of Toronto, believes “the concept of sexual racism is too strong and too intentional. Our liberation movement worked to remove shame from sexual desire, and I think we should take a lesson from it in terms of how we deal with the topic of racialized desires. Sensitizing ourselves to the connections between our most inner sexual desires and the sociopolitical landscape we are immersed in also seems like a good way to go.”
Self-described “Queer brown drag queen faggot” ML Sugie, who co-authored the essay with Faris, questions whether strict qualifiers should play any role in desire at all: “I can’t make the case that race, ethnicity, body type, ability — any of it — has any business being involved in hooking up, beyond what people have told me are for aesthetic reasons, which I take to be code for ‘unjustifiable hierarchies that I don’t want to explain.’ It just isn’t intelligible to look at someone and say, ‘I want to reach orgasm y being fucked, but only fucked by a person of this ethnicity or race.’ The connection just doesn’t make sense. What is it about certain ethnicities or races that make it so you just can’t get off or find them sexually attractive? And how fucked up is that?”
As Faris notes, “If attraction didn’t change, you would never see two 80-year-old people together. More than likely, when they were 18 they didn’t find an 80-year-old attractive.” Unless one of them was named Harold and the other was named Maude.
Ali Abbas, author of the essay “Death by Masculinity,” notes, “Sexual desire will not, like many other things, come naturally. Desire is universal, but how we shape that desire is based on our willingness to pursue it. Who is to say that desire just naturally happens? Why can’t desire be a mode of living that requires contemplation, action and self-reflection rather than strict requirements?”
It seems the terms we use to describe desires are as fluid and hard to define as the desires themselves. Faris doesn’t think universal definitions for terms like “straight-acting” or “masculine” are possible. “When I’m online and someone says, ‘Are you masc?’ my usual response is, ‘What do you mean by that?’ Those things are all culturally relative. I grew up on a farm, and you have these big women who are doing farm work, which is very masculine, but it’s not viewed as being masculine; she’s just being a wife. By femme, what do you mean? Do I gesticulate a lot? Yes. Do I do drag? Yes. Straight acting is the most hilarious term. To be straight is to be attracted to or have sex with women.”
Faris suggests that, instead of using negative terminology that describes what they don’t want, people should explain what they do want and deal with others as individuals. If you aren’t attracted to Asian men because stereotypes suggest they are smooth and you prefer hairy men, you could write, “I like hairy men” on your profile, not “no Asians.” “I think being explicit with what you’re into is more inclusive. It might mask things and make them invisible and harder to discuss. But it still makes things more inclusive,” says Faris. “If someone is eading through a bunch of profiles, at least they don’t feel rejected by 40 profiles that say, ‘no Asian dudes.’”
“Changing negative descriptions into positive descriptions doesn’t change the fact that they are still requirements based on things like race, looks or gender expression,” counters Sugie. “It merely flips the statement from ‘What I don’t want’ to ‘What I require.’ It doesn’t change the content of the message, only the wording. Why is it so important that someone find a slim, masculine, hairy, buff man? Do you have some sort of vintage sling with a really low weight limit? A grand piano you’d like him to help you move after you fuck? What exactly are you going to do that requires such a specific, acrobatic person — and can I watch?”
What else can be done to change our bad behaviours? Sycamore believes that confronting others’ desires as well as one’s own is effective. He recalls challenging someone for having ‘no Asians’ written in his profile: “He said my distaste was ‘just because you’re Asian.’ It’s fascinating that people think the only ones who could be offended by this racist thing is someone who’s Asian.”
Raymond Miller, author of Little Kiwi’s Word Museum of Wonder and Terror blog, revels in challenging people and frequently shares his Grindr exchanges. “I’ve received so much mail in support of it. There’s the occasional letter that says, ‘Who the fuck do you think you are.’ The irony is that they say, ‘How dare you judge me’ when they’re judging everyone else. And it’s always white boys that can’t believe someone doesn’t want them because they’re supposedly the gold standard.”
Miller has an interesting proposal for driving home the point that putdowns in the form of come-ons are not welcome in our culture. “I want to organize a sexual boycott. Maybe if people stop getting laid they’ll realize what they’re doing is prejudiced. I don’t know why some guys only want to fuck Hitler’s Youth. I think it’s ugly, and I don’t want to reward that. Tell them that because of what they say, they’re not getting laid tonight.”
Sugie suggests a different strategy: “If you’re just trying to hook up, don’t be so picky about it. Indiscriminate promiscuity is about letting go of our notions that we should measure someone’s sexual worth based on scripted notions of race, class, gender expression, body and ability, and instead focus on creative sexual acts.”
Green goes further: “Foucault once proposed that we craft a sexuality not on desire, but pleasure. Desire is heavily psychoanalyzed, but bodily pleasure much less so. He believed that one starting point for a less socially disciplined sexuality was to focus on the pleasures of bodies — the pleasures our own bodies receive in sexual play and the pleasures we feel when giving sex.”
Words can beat people down, but it’s within our power to change how we frame our desires, and even to change our desires to create more inclusive screwing. By challenging ourselves and others we can expand our desires. So go out there and be indiscriminately promiscuous. Or deny that bigoted beefcake a hookup because of his prejudiced profile.
Just make sure you tell him there are no hard feelings — it’s just a preference.
>>Alex Rowlson is a freelance writer who is working on his PhD in history at the University of Toronto.<<
or he could list his preferences and be done with the bullshit thats entailed with it…. im willing to bet that boby is on THIS SITE BECAUSE of the approach u suggested.
LOL to a these comments. I submitted this douchebag after HE came on to ME. Instead of responding I sent his pic in here.
He is a complete and utter douchebag. I happen to be a barrister so I would like to think that when it comes to his argument of “I’m a 3rd year law student therefore I am an intellectual” into perspective.
He is completely arrogant because he thinks being a law student somehow makes him immune to all our arguments about why the term straight acting is actually homophobic and a term for the self-loathing.
If he actually had a functional intellect he could look up concepts like “microagressions” (often described in terms of racism but easily applied to homophobic matters). Or even easier just look up basic queer theories to understand why his terminology is so offensive to so many people.
But of course he will never do this because he thinks he is so correct already. He will make a pretty crappy lawyer I fear, if he ever manages to complete his degree.
And I think having is face plastered all over this site bodes quite badly for future career prospects also. A fitting result.
Forget being a functional intellect, if you were a decent human being, you wouldn’t of resorted to venting about me on a hate blog site. A ‘not interested’ would have been sufficient. You know, how adults resolve differences in opinion? Crappy lawyer? You’re a crappy person.
Info on racial microaggressions (mentioned by the barrister dude – and yes, microaggressions can be targeted towards any minority/marginalised group…)
From Psychology Today.com:
Microaggressions in Everyday Life: A new view on racism, sexism, and heterosexism. by Derald Wing Sue, Ph.D., and David Rivera, M.S.
>> If anyone is too lazy to click on the link, lemme post the most salient part of the article below <<
Classifying Microaggressions
In my book, Racial Microaggressions in Everyday Life: Race, Gender and Sexual Orientation (John Wiley & Sons, 2010), I summarize research conducted at Teachers College, Columbia University which led us to propose a classification of racial microaggressions. Three types of current racial transgressions were described:
• Microassaults: Conscious and intentional discriminatory actions: using racial epithets, displaying White supremacist symbols – swastikas, or preventing one’s son or daughter from dating outside of their race.
• Microinsults: Verbal, nonverbal, and environmental communications that subtly convey rudeness and insensitivity that demean a person’s racial heritage or identity. An example is an employee who asks a co-worker of color how he/she got his/her job, implying he/she may have landed it through an affirmative action or quota system.
• Microinvalidations: Communications that subtly exclude negate or nullify the thoughts, feelings or experiential reality of a person of color. For instance, White people often ask Latinos where they were born, conveying the message that they are perpetual foreigners in their own land.
Our research suggests that microinsults and microinvalidiations are potentially more harmful because of their invisibility, which puts people of color in a psychological bind: While people of color may feel insulted, they are often uncertain why, and perpetrators are unaware that anything has happened and are not aware they have been offensive. For people of color, they are caught in a Catch-22. If they question the perpetrator, as in the case of the flight attendant, denials are likely to follow. Indeed, they may be labeled “oversensitive” or even “paranoid.” If they choose not to confront perpetrators, the turmoil stews and percolates in the psyche of the person taking a huge emotional toll. In other words, they are damned if they do and damned if they don’t.
Note that the denials by perpetrators are usually not conscious attempts to deceive; they honestly believe they have done no wrong. Microaggressions hold their power because they are invisible, and therefore they don’t allow Whites to see that their actions and attitudes may be discriminatory. Therein lays the dilemma. The person of color is left to question what actually happened. The result is confusion, anger and an overall draining of energy.
No I think I did the right thing. You are clearly a very arrogant little upstart and are not as bright as you think you are. This little conversation is doing the rounds at our chambers as well so keep whining as we are having a grand old chuckle every time you or your friends post. Thank you for the entertainment. Your pic is up on one of the fridges as we speak LOL
@ I DID IT………you truly are an insignificant crumb that clearly has nothing to do except hate on everyone else. You are the true douche. And to be quite honest you mustn’t be that good of a lawyer if you have the time to do something sO pathetic as slate someone you dont even know. It is such a shame that someone with your “apparent” intelligence wastes his time pickin on a 20year old kid. Don’t you have anyone else to fck with??? Or have you grown bored of hating your own life because the only sexual attention you ever got was from tour father? Have fun being a lawyer mate an have fun being a pitiful human being that will die old an alone.. This type of behavior is beyond inhuman and your a fuckin bully i would Gladly challenge you to have this conversation with someone face to face….but then again you probably thrive in being a keyboard warrior having such an “intellectualL argument behind ya keyboard. You will never be able to justify this type of behavior because at the end of the day you are nothing but a sad twisted bully.. your calling BOBY an arrogant little upstart??? did ya feelings get hurt mate??? You upset that no one wants you?? no one loves you?? I am glad that you think putting a picture of someone you don’t even know in your office is appropriate…….you really are a peice of shit…….but don’t worry daddy will always love you..
I will be sure to tell my partner of 8 years that you think I will die lonely.
As for this so-called “bullying” the little turd gives as good as he gets. If he didn’t so arrogantly try to defend the indefensible then he wouldn’t be on the fridge in the first place.
But go ahead, have another whinge like I’ve already said, its really entertaining…
@ I DID IT I am so happy to hear that you have a partner of 8 years….it just shows that even a cunt like you can get some form of charity. It amazes me to think you can still justify your actions. And I am a little cobfused you have a partner of 8 years and your on Grindr???? Wow that relationship seems functional. You must be real happy with it to be on Grindr but then again your probably on there trying to search for something a little better then what you got to fill that blank spot in your life huh.have fun eating your feelings when all your shit talking bites you in the arse. You. Sad sad sad sad lonely bitter queen. xOXO
All of “disgusted”‘s comments and those of “this is me” just reinforce why we need this site. You losers attack the gay lifestyle then expect not to suffer consequences. You are unaccepting of men you consider to be “too gay” and of open relationships which are usually very very healthy (a lot healthier than a worn out monogamous relationship after a few years). I applaud the guy who submitted this douchebag and think the two of you are only making the case for why you a douchebags ever stronger.
I don’t see what the problem is here. The douchebag in question espoused a homophobic position and was submitted to this site because of it. Judging from his and his friends response I think the submission was entirely justified. Also I live in the same city as this douchebag and I notice his profile has now been changed – it no longer contains homophobia. So despite him and his friends arguing till they are blue in the face, it looks like he learned his lesson. But I’m glad he was out on here because I doubt he would have learned it any other way.
to the “i did it” character – i dont have a law degree, i work in retail… furthermore, even WITHOUT said degree i still feel more than comfortable in saying your a WANKER… clean cut. no more to it… posting boby on this shit is just dog act full stop!
why not just say ‘sorry no thanks’ – oh yes thats right cause u thought u should make an example of him for his choice of words?? hmmm there’s something i want to say about integrity AND dignity but i feel as though you think your actions were justified so ill save that spiel due to the fact that i may aswell bash my head up against a brick wall…
hold on, let me check what other shit you spat out in your rants…. this is going to take a while to dissect…
“…Or even easier just look up basic queer theories to understand why his terminology is so offensive to so many people.”
to these ‘many people’ that are offended by the term ‘straight acting’ – a glass of concrete works wonders… harden up, move on… its alot more straight forward (oooo there’s that nasty evil word again) than ‘masculine acting’ which could very well encompass an array of mannerisms…
we all know what straight acting means so neck up… i personally find the concept of open relationships disgusting to say they least – its an excuse to slut around and not feel bad about it, and then to slither back into bed with the person you claim to love… just doesnt sit right with me – but thats my view on it… if it works for you, more power etc.
that being said, someone in your particular shoes, doesnt have a leg to stand on when it comes social/political/cultural/whatever correctness because, evidently your far from what i and im sure a vast majority would consider role model material – so how dare you sit on your moral high horse and pass judgement when for all intents and purposes, your merely a glorified slut with a law degree… your trying to dress a pig in wool and pass it off as a sheep (you being the pig in question here) when everyone can see your still a pig.
show this comment to your friends… try and read between the lines of what they DO and DON’T say
i dont have a law degree, yes i work in a generic industry… but i do know right from wrong…
were bobys choice of words inappropriate?
perhaps
were the words in question inappropriate for a medium such as grindr?
no – political correctness goes out the window when you engage with an app in order to cop head
on the other side of the coin however, we have you…
were your actions wrong to post boby on this site for what YOU consider a bad choice of words?
YES… your a wanker… theres nothing more to it my friend… your a nasty fag and i promise you, if someone EVER spoke to me like that, to my face where i could see them – i would flog them… and over what? a disagreement about a choice of words???
no.
this entire thread has transcended ‘a bad choice of words’.
this goes WAY beyond boby saying ‘straight acting’…
im fairly confident in saying that you didnt have many friends growing up aye
and now your probably reading this and saying “yes i did hahaha”
but you really didnt did u… think long and hard about who you actually still talk to from your days at school and im sure ull find that the numbers have steadily decreased leading up until this moment… and why??
because your a mean person and no1 wants to be friends with someone like that.
@LAWL LAWLZ – yup, your observation is quite apt. Some of these guys are arrogantly proud of their ignorance and prejudice.
Case in point – jaymz12321 here. And what’s interesting about guys like this are they will deny any evidence people give them — whether it was reported in a study or news or article saying it can’t be true because it challenges their views or beliefs.
But when asked for the evidence of their beliefs/views, they won’t offer it and it seems that their opinions are good enough to convince people into submission.
And of course, only their opinions must be accepted as correct or as the absolute truth – right or wrong – if that’s the way it’s done in “Ostraya” then it’s the only way it must be done. If you don’t like it, you can piss off, they’ll say.
Their rationale is quite worrisome really. I’m just thankful I’m be taking a break from Oz soon. Spending too long here can fuck up your brains, I tell you.
Anyway, if found all these arguments and all the stupid arrogant comments made by these douchebags entertaining – check out this site:
It’s a whole collection of racist, homophobic, sexist, ignorant Aussie douchebags, bitches and assholes saying nasty things online – it’s another naming and shaming site, I guess.
Enjoy laughing or shaking your head at our Ozzie douchebags!
Oh I’m quite aware I can be wrong… However in this particular case, Im not.
Your having a bitch and whinge about the term ‘straight acting’
Grow up, toughen up cause if it upsets you THAT much, u should really lock yourself into a room, away from the world cause I At the end of the day, that’s nothing compared to what I’m sure ull experience in terms of ‘homophobic’ behavior…. Studies about non-pseudo sciences – I will take into account…. The shit your putting forward is utter garbage
Lol. Yes Azul the whole jaymz argument of “toughen up” really does give an strong insight into the complete breakdown of social consciousness in Australia. There’s so no concept of why the term carries so much offence. This whole “you did something bad to bobby ad therefore no amount of logic will prevail” is truly disturbing. In the last ten years I’ve seen Australia society regress faster than it did the previous 20 years. What’s more frightening is these people will never “awaken” and will hold on to their prejudices and ignorance right to the grave. If they could only see how much they are
Embarrassing themselves from an intellectual point of view but alas when you are asleep at the wheel you really aren’t very aware of what’s actual going on.
Once again I would like to state how glad I am this site exists because it gives a voice to the people who are fed up with the internalised homophobia exhibited in this dochebags profile.
Oh and just to make a further comment on the attack these ingrates have made on open relationships. They are still so blatantly brainwashed by the Herero world and it’s values (which has caused them to be so internally homophobic in the first place) that they are unable to accept that other forms of relationship are deeply fulfilling. Monogamy is not the only choice. If you want monogamy then have it. If you want an open relationship then have it. Polyamorous? You go girl! But here we have the unconscious animals on this site once again showing their true colours – which state clearly “we are hateful of anything different to ourselves”. They are an insecure mob with a
Mob mentality and I’m glad this site is causing them so much grief – they deserve every bit of it
“[Straight acting is] alot more straight forward (oooo there’s that nasty evil word again) than ‘masculine acting’ which could very well encompass an array of mannerisms”
So if you heard a guy describe himself as masculine, you wouldn’t know what he meant. Because masculine is just so broad and ambiguous. Really? Excuse the ad hominem, but you are plain backwards. It must be Backwards Day when one must resort to an illogical (see my other replies) and uneducated word when a perfectly logical and appropriate one exists.
I don’t think “straight acting” is offensive the way others have suggested. Offensively stupid, maybe.
jesus christ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL OF YOU GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! maybe you should all just try masturbation, from what i see here it would cause less complications for all of you…
This whole site reminds me of the glory days of gay bars and clubs in my city. No matter where you went, there would be openly gay people, there would be closet cases, there would be men being masculine, there would be men being feminine. There would be gay men being themselves. You could guarantee there would be a clicky group huddled in a corner bitching about everyone. This is just the cyber-quivalent.
It’s tantamount to bullying. You bitc#es need to go watch some Trevor Project videos and then get out of the house more.
Faris makes far too many broad sweeping statements about how we should have no personal preferences when deciding who we date or sleep with. That is complete nonsense. How on earth do you think most of the people on this planet marry. They find someone they like the look of spending their life with. Don’t be delusional in your pHd Lawson, no one ever says “you’ll do”
No. That there has been a migration of replicated values to cyberspace is inaccurate. In the deidentification of the internet, the devolution has escalated.
It’s not bullying to pull up bullies – that’s sophistry. Socially responsible shaming is our responsibility. Our community has allowed improper conduct to continue far too long.
Sexual preference is a term used to mask implicit racism and internalised homophobia – or are you going to suggest that if I say ‘no rice, no femmes, no queens, straight acting only’ that I am being anything but a bully.
I should add that bullying by social exclusion is a well recognised process.
When we announce harmful stereotypes that reduce people to 2 dimensional constructs, we are telling them they are not acceptable and that they are unwelcome.
That is social exclusion, yet another way that racist, ageist, homophobic, tags harm those they target.
I think you are extremely correct! The original bully here is the douchebag who is too arrogant and unconscious to realise that his words have a powerful negative effect on those around him. His public shame is an unfortunate necessity.
the attempt to justify straight acting as an appropriate term for use by socially responsible adults, and to obfuscate that words for sexual preference is disingenuous.
Femmeophobia is what it is. To strip away natural human variation by the attempt o clone us crocodile dundees sounding paradies of human beings and to call that sexual preference is harmful to our community.
sexual preference is an entirely different construct to femmeophobia
1. Deny and minimise that his labelling style is offensive, and a self-indulgent mode of shaming: ‘no femmes’ shames anyone he decides is not blokey.
He will be humbled by life, later or sooner if he goes down this path. Life just works like that.
Or
Option 2: grow. Into a man, by choice, like you have bjc, by exploring your own inner demons and going on the journey of discovery tht is about social tolerance.
Someone who is self-reflecting, self-aware, self-scrutinising, open to new ideas and who makes a valuable contribution to his society and propagates social evolution.
This guy is actually well known for being a huge slut around town. I am not surprised in the slightest to see him on here as a lot of people really dislike this douche. I can honestly say i would never do anything with this boy in fear of contracting an STI.
what the fuck? jaymz shut the fuck up nobody is even listening to you because you’re clearly a dumbass and should shut your mouth. and to the actual person, is it so hard to just accept what people are saying? if you were really smart then you could have easily just have apologized instead of making adjacent comebacks. to your friends, that’s great and all but you’re all fucking stupid too. and i dont think there’s anything wrong with this site, except for occasionally accusing the wrong person (not this time) of being a douche. we get what you’re saying, but that’s besides the point. SOME PEOPLE “/
I suppose the phrase ‘straight acting’ is a bit of an oxymoron. You are acting to be something which you are not (as you are homosexual and not straight). To be honest, from that picture, he is not straight acting himself and most definitely gay.
He’s not a douche. He’s smokin’ hot, masculine, with a killer body, who has the self-respect to know what he wants, then, state it openly. How you feel about is irrelevant. It’s not about you.
I’m getting a ‘fake profile’ vibe.
My favourite part is when he wrote : intellectual. Like this dude even has a brain!
Yuck!
probably he thinks wearing a tie makes him an inttelectual
“straight acting” = self loathing piece of shit
@ G.I. Joe
thats a little harsh…. why does that make them self loathing?
those are some pretty manicured eyebrows for a masc dude
Kendal OH MY GOD it’s almost enough to make me wanna kill myself when I hear people like you say “what’s homophobic about the term straight acting”? One last time for the dummies: to say you want a straight acting guy is to say you prefer straights to gays, it implies that to at straight is better than to be gay, it implies therefore that gay is somehow not as good as straight!!! GET IT? that was in plain English PLEASE GET IT!!!!!
Kendull, er I mean Kendal, is not the sharpest tool in the shed. He STILL may not understand it. It’s not his fault, it’s his parents’ fault: Two stupid people decided to breed
…. I’m not saying it’s not homohphobic im just wondering why someone has to be self-loathing if they say that they’re straight acting. he is a bit of a douche i’m not questioning that. DO YOU GET IT!!! I PUT IT IN PLAIN ENGLISH FOR YOU!!!!!!!!! because if you actually read what i said you would understand what i mean, it’s dummies like you that make me want to kill myself.
@parker it’s actually you who’s not the brightest crayon in the box for not understanding my very obvious question.. to put it in a way your simple brain would understand. f***ing read more dumbass
Personally I think that people who describe themselves as “straight acting” tend to have more issues with their sexuality than those that use another term. It’s not always true, but just something I’ve noticed – they see themselves as acting to conform to male heterosexual norms, which usually means they aren’t completely comfortable with the fact that they are gay. If they were to use a term like “masculine” they would be (in general) not as likely to have problems with their sexuality.
Newb question: what is blokey?
u would expect that seeing as this is a site about douches people wouldn’t be so douchy in the coments, na?
I know this bloke and he ain’t a douche, I think the douches are the people that post other people pics on this site who have obviously been rejected/blocked.
And u can bag me out too but I like men bc they are men not wen the act all femme if that was the case I would b with girls, who cares wat his preferences are aleast he is honest.
Most of u r giving shit to someone u don’t know, if someone isn’t to ur liking or they are rude MOVE ON!!! Don’t take it so personnal
AHahahahaa. WOW. This is actually me. Thanks guys for the publicity. I am actually a intellectual guy studying 3rd year Law at university. To presuppose anything about me otherwise makes you look very stupid.
And I find it funny that the term ‘straight acting’ is automatically associated with being ignorant. With the lack of a better word, straight acting effectively filters out what I am not seeking sexually. That is my sexual preference. I am not a homophobe. Nor do I hate queens.
LAWL.
He actually isn’t dumb and he actually isn’t fake he is a really good guy with a caring heart and someone that would do anything for his friends so the jealous motherfucker that decided to put him on this site is a low life loser that had no shot and should seriously get a life or end their miserable one.
Haha wow, browsing through and I see one of my best mates posted here.
So lets state a few things:
1. I would honestly LOVE to see and pick apart the profiles of the people who have thought they can pick apart someone else’s.
2. Judging a book by it’s cover? are you 12? he studies law and is a genuine ambitious guy.
3. ‘straight acting’ is a preference, it’s saying that they don’t like queeny guys; queeny guys I’m sure being the majority writing comments on this post.
4. Some pretty douchey Comments on a site that targets douchebags
I don’t see what’s wrong with this guy. Mind you, trying to find an Aussie intellectual? Not easy !
With the lack of a better word (for straight acting)? There is a better word. It’s “masculine.”
I guess the whole lawyers-have-a-great-handle-on-language thing is just a stereotype. Hey, at least you’re hot.
sigh. Can we ask ourselves why we need to exclude people that aren’t masculine or “straight-acting”? By doing so, you’re telling people that you’re homophobic. I consider myself masculine and people usually act surprised when they find out I’m gay. I have friends that are more feminine and flamboyant. Can’t we in the gay community stop judging each other? Aren’t there enough forces working against us?
I hate negative shit on profiles. It tells me that the person posting that crap is so vain and they get so many responses they have to filter people out ahead of time. If you receive the compliment of a response you’re not interested in, say thank you and move on.
BTW, having your dick in a guy’s mouth or ass isn’t very “straight-acting”. So I’d drop that term for any bi or gay guy.
Don’t mean to offend anyone. There is obviously different interpretations to the term straight acting. ‘Masculine’ does not infer that you are straight acting. The guys I have spoken to that are supposedly ‘masculine’…
Tman, how does my sexual preference make me a homophobe? Everyone here is judging me with a few words and one picture. I could make the same judgement you, call you a fkn queen and tell you to go get fucked. I have friends that are more flamboyant and effeminate. They are just friends, I do not fuck them.
People on here need to grow up. I hold double standards? How about you making stereotypical assumptions based on a few words and a picture, then having a little fit about me using a stereotypical word to filter out people I do not want to have sex with.
It’s just that straight-acting is a silly word for gays to use. The only way one could legitimately use it is to describe someone who’s genuinely attracted to the opposite sex. To describe a gay man as straight-acting is inherently contradictory and nonsensical.
Though I get what gays mean when they say it–just a guy who’s gay but isn’t flamboyant/displays no stereotypical gay man/queeny characteristics. There’s a perfectly good, sensical word for that. But apparently “masculine” isn’t “straight acting” enough for the STR8 law student on Grindr.
You are indeed a homophobe. Examine what you call a “sexual preference” and ask yourself where it comes from.
Why do you “filter people out” in your profile? You don’t HAVE to fuck everyone that responds. You don’t have to even meet up with them. One phone call and you can tell that someone isn’t your type. You don’t have to insult someone with your profile.
Think about a gay man that might show feminine tendencies. He’s been harassed and bullied. Then he sees your profile in what is supposed to be a gay-friendly community. How would he feel?
Do you see that’s what makes you seem like a douche? Your profile should show what your friend says you are “a really good guy with a caring heart”.
There are enough non-gay people out there putting gays down and bullying them. We don’t need to do it ourselves.
Is anyone else confused by topless pics with erect nipples? Forgive my ignorance but is that something people like?
Dont worry about these people boby. We love you for who you are.
I bet somebody like an 8 bit mario thats as blocky as you can get.
A) this guy is one of the most loving people I know and a great friend to many gays (“Blokey” or otherwise)
B) being sexually attracted to “masculine” men does not make him a homophobe. If people who are maybe a bit femme get picked on at school then that Is very sad, but that does not mean this guy should have sex with them
C) there seems to be a consensus that by saying “straight acting” he is meaning “masculine” and that it is wrong for him to use the term “straight acting”. If people are understanding what he is meanin to say but are getting themselves riled up over the semantics then they should get over it.
D) what is the problem with him letting people on Grindr know what his preferences are? If he is using it purely for picking up then he has every right, and why not be to the point? There is no point in him wasting a lot of time talking to people who he will ultimately not be attracted to as he probably HAS A LIFE to live outside of Grindr.
The person who made this page should have made a category for himself and all of those who are judging this guy are probably the type of guys he would reject, mainly because he doesn’t like arseholes (no pun intended).
Lkyboy, you just don’t get it. He may well be a loving person, but the words in his profile hurt people.
No one is saying he has to have sex with “femme” people. He just doesn’t have to malign them in his profile.
If he’s so busy that he can’t filter his emails like everyone else, then why is he on Grindr? How many guys dos he have to fuck?
BTW, I am NOT “femme”. You don’t have to be part of a group of bullied people to defend them. Unlike you, I’d rather defend the bullied than the bully.
If you’re truly a friend why don’t you ask “Blokey Boy” to change his profile and then you can manage his Grindr fan mail for him?
Bullies and their douchey friends like you suck.
I would get over it, except that he used “straight acting” and “intellectual” in the same sentence, which is just a little bit intellectually dishonest.
It shouldn’t offend someone saying straight acting if they r comfortable with themselves by being a flaming homo, if they’re not then they have some self work to do! Not bobys problem! And the term straight acting isn’t an act it’s guys who r gay who r being themselves but using the term is just the easiest way to describe it so to all u mofos back the f up
It shouldn’t offend someone saying straight acting if they r comfortable with themselves by being a flaming homo, if they’re not then they have some self work to do! Not bobys problem! And the term straight acting isn’t an act it’s guys who r gay who r being themselves but using the term is just the easiest way to describe it so to all u haters who ainters back up 🙂
“He may well be a loving person, but the words in his profile hurt people.”
…lolwut? Please read the info again.
If you still feel it offends, ask yourself:
Just how fragile are you/do you believe others to be?
I also think that the people who post guys on here are bigger douches than the ones they are accusing. I reckon 90% of the guys here shouldn’t be here.
Not into a specific race and they state it, so you label them a douche?
God, act like an adult and choose to NOT post their picture on a website. It’s what the majority of people do.
Also: Labeling a fellow gay a homophobe just because he isn’t interested in pursuing a hook up/relationship/whatever with twinks who cover themselves in glitter is beyond retarded.
Straight acting = “guys who [are] gay who [are] being themselves”. Then shouldn’t the word be gay acting? Since the gay guys [are], you know, being themselves?
The term doesn’t describe “it” at all. If you had read all the replies, you would know why.
Stimpy, you sound just like a bully would. Congratulations on that. Funny that someone saying hateful things thinks he can get away with calling others haters. No one is falling for it.
You are the hater and the bully here and the one with “self work” that needs to be done.
Let’s get one thing clear, people like myself and Boby are what the general public would consider ‘hot people’. We choose not to associate ourselves with ugly, fat or poor people like I’m sure some of you are.
It’s part of the image we need to uphold in order to keep reign over you small people. Haterz gon hate…….. Mires gon mire…….
And as for the straight acting thing… Go burn your bras you idiots. People like you, are the reason why hot people like boby and myself, now have to call fairy penguins, little penguins….
My name is James… In some cultures I am considered a god… Worship me
Talking about offending someone? 95% of the comments directed at me are offensive. All I did describe what I am into, and not into sexually.
Re: the term ‘straight acting’… I use it to define a certain type of gay guy. Twink, bear, cub, gym junkie, straight acting. No one fits into any one of these categories specifically, but it allows me to describe what I am seeking sexually. With the lack of a better word, it describes a LGBT person who does not exhibit the appearance or mannerisms of a gay stereotype.
I get that the term itself can be seen as damaging to the gay community, as it associates certain attributes with homosexuality and that it implies that they are acting and not being themselves.
I use it by strictly referring it to ones mannerisms. Taken in context such as a application as superficial and transparent as Grindr, I thought it would be blatantly obvious that my intentions were completely superficial. I do not know as a person. I’m sure we would get along fine even if you are not ‘straight acting’ .
Mind boggles at the guys on here…
Try and see where I am coming from before you get defensive and judge me on a superficial basis, just as I have supposedly done.
If pointing out that you’re choice of words can hurt someone is offensive, then we’re offensive. Fine.
You’re a young guy. You may not take it seriously and may not mean any harm. But gay kids are killing themselves. They can’t control their mannerisms any more than you can.
Please answer a question for me. What harm would there be for you to take that out of your profile? Would you be so inundated with “stereotypical gay guys” that you couldn’t still have fun on Grindr? I doubt it.
Try for a minute to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. When you list only what you are seeking sexually, it comes off as selfish and vain to most people.
BTW, you don’t see being superficial as offensive?
Mind boggles indeed.
If they really wanted to, gay kids could change their mannerisms. I did. It takes work.
Given the medium is Grindr, I dont see superficial as being offensive. How profoundly can you get to know someone from a profile off Grindr?
I also disagree that my sexual preference leads to gay kids killing themselves. I have no problem with effeminate guys. In fact I have many close mates that are just that. I just dont want to sleep with them. I would never bully anyone. If my wording transpires as indirect bullying then sorry.
Chill boys.
cant ugly/fat/poor people just get along with people like me and boby?
we wont touch u – we fear we will catch the ugly/fat/poor but we can talk…. from a distance i guess… im not opposed to that… just dont get too close is what im really trying to say. im sure ur all really nice people but i dont care for it? its just my preference… if i ever had an ugly friend, they would b with me for the soul purpose for comparison
“this is my ugly/fat/poor friend (insert name here)… hes really nice tho”
if they wanted to change, they can… there are avenues available for people from the ugly/fat/poor walk of life – im so sick of this “i was born this way/i have a glandular problem/my mums a junkie” excuse… its old and outdated..
i say the same thing to quadriplegics – “get some motivation!!!!!!!”
they dont need their wheelchairs… they’re just lazy.
i think we all just need to learn our place in life… if we were in the jungle, who would u be?
boby and i would be lions… so u CANT be that… its beyond you… but u could settle for a vulture or something – taking the sloppy seconds of us hot people. we do our bit for charity…. thats a lie… i dont… im sure boby doesnt either… but its ncie to say we do… it makes people think that we care and at the end of the day, thats what really matters… the thought… we thought about it… we wont… but we thought about it 🙂
Boby, you should volunteer at your local LGBT center and meet some people. I have met many troubled young men that are constantly bullied and harassed because they’re not “masculine” enough. And yes, they are on the verge of suicide when they come there. The slightest thing could tip the scales. Words are powerful. Whether they’re on Grindr or not.
You didn’t address my question either. How would it hurt you to remove that from your profile?
You are a very, very selfish person that puts yourself and your sexual needs and preferences over the feelings of others. As you mature and get more life experience you’ll understand what I mean. Right now, you’re a spoiled, selfish little boy. Let’s hope you grow out of it.
I think that this site is pretty horrible, we are all gay yeah?? So why the fuck do we fight amongst ourselves when we have the majority of society. This guy is actually one of my best mates and he is kindest person I know…..but because some twisted old bitter queen who invented this site is probably bored of there own sad lonely life they need to pick on other ppl due to there own insecurities. The term “straight acting” is a term used by alot of ppl. It’s his type!! And probably the type for most because “we” are attracted to men…..not men who act like girls. so why don’t you all go have a look in the mirror before you pass judgment on someone you dont even know. It make me sick to think that young men take there lives due to this exact type of behavior. Bitter bitter twisted people. Grow up because this type of behavior an website is the reason why so many of the LGBT community take there own lives…….this is bullying
Yes life is hard but people need to at some point take responsibility for themselves and stop blaming other people. If a young guy sadly chooses to take hes own life this is on no part bobys fault, rather look at what this young man has been through leading up to that point in hes life.
Having been at the point of highly considering suicide several times in my early years of accepting myself for who i am growing up in country NSW, I can surely say i would not have been trawling through Grindr, i had other issues and things on my mind at the time and i would not have been looking to grindr for help or comfort.
Id like to know what person would take to heart, and be really that offend at boby having put “straight acting” on hes grindr profile, at the end of the day, they dont know him other then a little pic and few words, really what does this one guys opinion matter to you any way? Bobys profile is simply an advertisement of who he is and as we all do when we see an Ad for something we dont like or agree with on tv we simple ignore it… think about it, are you actually going to even take that much notice of it? rather wouldn’t you just move on to the next little pic and judge that guy as “oh hes hot” or “no no not my type” clearly the person who made this most likely wanted to hook up with boby and have a fuck, and because boby wasnt interested or didnt respond in 2 seconds (because he has a life outside of grindr) they passed judgement on him and decided to post him on this site,
We all need to grow up and stop passing judgment on each other we are who we are and we have to learn to accept it, we also have to learn to accept others opinions and points of view, boby likes men who are masculine and are comfortable being themselves rather then conforming to societies stereotype of a gay man
and this guy as many have said is actually a great guy and should not be judged because he is simply being who he is and being honest and up front with people,
Gotta love that were all meant to be adults here, sounds like were all still in highschool and bitching about pointless shit!!
There’s nothing wrong with preferring masculine guys. I’m masculine and am not attracted to fems usually. But the word “straight acting” is an uneducated and nonsensical word to use for reasons I have demonstrated in this thread (reasons that no one in this thread has directly challenged either).
Your suggestion that fems are not being themselves and are actively try to recreate a gay stereotype is ridiculous. Being sexually attracted to males is a biologically, inherently female characteristic. It comes as no surprise, then, that gays display some female characteristics. You say it as if all gay men have an innate masculinity about them, that fems just cover that masculinity up and, inexplicably, put on traits that lead to them being discriminated against and judged by society. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Ahhhhhh Tman maybe you should go to your mirror and hate yourself some more you miserable crumb. All you people sitting behind your computer hating on one of my best friends is fucking sickening…….it amazes me how viscious and vile the gay community can really be. Tman you are quite clearly the stand out performer in this one your moral compass is way off the mark and you should really go ask yourself a few questions as to why you think it is appropriate to slate someone you don’t even know. Your words are harsh an offensive and it clearly shows that you are a sad sad Lonly twisted person with little respect for anyone. This site should be taken down and those who created it should be dragged over the coals. Let’s say that BOBY wasnt happy with who he was let’s say that he did have tendencies to hurt himself like many young gay men!! let’s say that because of all the judgmental comments made due to the fact some insecure little queen got his nose out of joint and decided he would name an shame many of the people on Grindr ends up taking his own life all because someone thought it was appropriate to create such a despicable site. you are literally one of nastiest pieces of work I have ever come across and it is very entertaining to see how so many of you that are hating on BOBY try and sound more educated then you really are……I am sure the term “straight acting” is one of the most non offensive words we as gay men have heard before don’t you agree??
i just want to say this…. being beautiful is as much a curse as what it is a blessing… sure everyone wants us and shit… but like then we have to constantly defend are beauty to ugly people… its hard! i understand bobys pain – i go thru this every day… someone always has something negative to say about my sheer beauty… but ive learnt to deal with it… just like these feminine boys that boby doesnt find SEXUALLY attractive need to do… i accepted my beauty by the age of two… i knew it… i learnt…. i lived it… and now im loving it…
EMBRACE YOUR FEMININE QUALITIES…
i embraced my beauty and so can u with ur femininity…. once u accept who u are, u can start doing things like…. using incorrect grammar… like too many ellipses… with too many periods… and being better than everyone else..
peace and love
From fab Magazine:
NOT JUST A PREFERENCE
Alex Rowlson goes head-to-head with the troubling terminology of our desires
We’ve all been there.
You visit a hookup or dating website, cruise somebody’s profile and are confronted with the list: no fats; no femmes; no Asians; no blacks; masc only; my age or younger; str8-acting, you be too; non-scene; and on and on. What we find is a lot of hate when all we want is head.
“Gay men have forgotten how to have sex,” says Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore, editor of the forthcoming anthology Why Are Faggots So Afraid of Faggots? “For so long that was supposed to be something gay men were good at, but I’m not so sure anymore. They might be good at the technique but not the openness. Sex should be about opening possibilities, not closing them off.”
The negative language so prevalent on Craigslist and Grindr seems to signal that the culture of sexual liberation has been replaced by sexual segregation.
Gay sexual oppression is catalogued painfully on the Douchebags of Grindr blog, which sorts prejudiced profiles based on everything from racism and sexism to self-hating homophobia. But even though we see it everywhere, most people are as willing to admit to the exclusionary aspects of their desires as Lindsay Lohan is to submit to drug testing — statements are qualified by “Sorry, that’s just what I’m into” or “No hard feelings, it’s just my preference.”
Sycamore says that while people have the right to say what they’re attracted to, they have a responsibility to watch how they say it. “On the one hand, people are stating their preference, but on the other, these are not neutral terms. If we were living in a culture where everything was the same, it wouldn’t be a problem. But when sexual preference reinforces dominant systems of power in an unquestioning way, that’s when it becomes problematic.”
Michael J Faris, co-author of the essay “Fucking with Fucking Online: Advocating for Indiscriminate Promiscuity,” believes that sexual oppression too often is unexamined. “Desiring one thing more than another I don’t see as a bad thing,” he says. “When you say, ‘I won’t date a black person or won’t sleep with a black person,’ that’s what I see as being racist. If you can’t interrogate your desire, that’s a problem.”
Sociologist Adam Isaiah Green, a faculty member at the Bonham Centre for Sexual Diversity Studies at the University of Toronto, believes “the concept of sexual racism is too strong and too intentional. Our liberation movement worked to remove shame from sexual desire, and I think we should take a lesson from it in terms of how we deal with the topic of racialized desires. Sensitizing ourselves to the connections between our most inner sexual desires and the sociopolitical landscape we are immersed in also seems like a good way to go.”
Self-described “Queer brown drag queen faggot” ML Sugie, who co-authored the essay with Faris, questions whether strict qualifiers should play any role in desire at all: “I can’t make the case that race, ethnicity, body type, ability — any of it — has any business being involved in hooking up, beyond what people have told me are for aesthetic reasons, which I take to be code for ‘unjustifiable hierarchies that I don’t want to explain.’ It just isn’t intelligible to look at someone and say, ‘I want to reach orgasm y being fucked, but only fucked by a person of this ethnicity or race.’ The connection just doesn’t make sense. What is it about certain ethnicities or races that make it so you just can’t get off or find them sexually attractive? And how fucked up is that?”
As Faris notes, “If attraction didn’t change, you would never see two 80-year-old people together. More than likely, when they were 18 they didn’t find an 80-year-old attractive.” Unless one of them was named Harold and the other was named Maude.
Ali Abbas, author of the essay “Death by Masculinity,” notes, “Sexual desire will not, like many other things, come naturally. Desire is universal, but how we shape that desire is based on our willingness to pursue it. Who is to say that desire just naturally happens? Why can’t desire be a mode of living that requires contemplation, action and self-reflection rather than strict requirements?”
It seems the terms we use to describe desires are as fluid and hard to define as the desires themselves. Faris doesn’t think universal definitions for terms like “straight-acting” or “masculine” are possible. “When I’m online and someone says, ‘Are you masc?’ my usual response is, ‘What do you mean by that?’ Those things are all culturally relative. I grew up on a farm, and you have these big women who are doing farm work, which is very masculine, but it’s not viewed as being masculine; she’s just being a wife. By femme, what do you mean? Do I gesticulate a lot? Yes. Do I do drag? Yes. Straight acting is the most hilarious term. To be straight is to be attracted to or have sex with women.”
Faris suggests that, instead of using negative terminology that describes what they don’t want, people should explain what they do want and deal with others as individuals. If you aren’t attracted to Asian men because stereotypes suggest they are smooth and you prefer hairy men, you could write, “I like hairy men” on your profile, not “no Asians.” “I think being explicit with what you’re into is more inclusive. It might mask things and make them invisible and harder to discuss. But it still makes things more inclusive,” says Faris. “If someone is eading through a bunch of profiles, at least they don’t feel rejected by 40 profiles that say, ‘no Asian dudes.’”
“Changing negative descriptions into positive descriptions doesn’t change the fact that they are still requirements based on things like race, looks or gender expression,” counters Sugie. “It merely flips the statement from ‘What I don’t want’ to ‘What I require.’ It doesn’t change the content of the message, only the wording. Why is it so important that someone find a slim, masculine, hairy, buff man? Do you have some sort of vintage sling with a really low weight limit? A grand piano you’d like him to help you move after you fuck? What exactly are you going to do that requires such a specific, acrobatic person — and can I watch?”
What else can be done to change our bad behaviours? Sycamore believes that confronting others’ desires as well as one’s own is effective. He recalls challenging someone for having ‘no Asians’ written in his profile: “He said my distaste was ‘just because you’re Asian.’ It’s fascinating that people think the only ones who could be offended by this racist thing is someone who’s Asian.”
Raymond Miller, author of Little Kiwi’s Word Museum of Wonder and Terror blog, revels in challenging people and frequently shares his Grindr exchanges. “I’ve received so much mail in support of it. There’s the occasional letter that says, ‘Who the fuck do you think you are.’ The irony is that they say, ‘How dare you judge me’ when they’re judging everyone else. And it’s always white boys that can’t believe someone doesn’t want them because they’re supposedly the gold standard.”
Miller has an interesting proposal for driving home the point that putdowns in the form of come-ons are not welcome in our culture. “I want to organize a sexual boycott. Maybe if people stop getting laid they’ll realize what they’re doing is prejudiced. I don’t know why some guys only want to fuck Hitler’s Youth. I think it’s ugly, and I don’t want to reward that. Tell them that because of what they say, they’re not getting laid tonight.”
Sugie suggests a different strategy: “If you’re just trying to hook up, don’t be so picky about it. Indiscriminate promiscuity is about letting go of our notions that we should measure someone’s sexual worth based on scripted notions of race, class, gender expression, body and ability, and instead focus on creative sexual acts.”
Green goes further: “Foucault once proposed that we craft a sexuality not on desire, but pleasure. Desire is heavily psychoanalyzed, but bodily pleasure much less so. He believed that one starting point for a less socially disciplined sexuality was to focus on the pleasures of bodies — the pleasures our own bodies receive in sexual play and the pleasures we feel when giving sex.”
Words can beat people down, but it’s within our power to change how we frame our desires, and even to change our desires to create more inclusive screwing. By challenging ourselves and others we can expand our desires. So go out there and be indiscriminately promiscuous. Or deny that bigoted beefcake a hookup because of his prejudiced profile.
Just make sure you tell him there are no hard feelings — it’s just a preference.
>>Alex Rowlson is a freelance writer who is working on his PhD in history at the University of Toronto.<<
http://www.fabmagazine.com/story/not-just-a-preference
hows this for a challenge black saab……. your fat…
re; azul@melb
or he could list his preferences and be done with the bullshit thats entailed with it…. im willing to bet that boby is on THIS SITE BECAUSE of the approach u suggested.
LOL to a these comments. I submitted this douchebag after HE came on to ME. Instead of responding I sent his pic in here.
He is a complete and utter douchebag. I happen to be a barrister so I would like to think that when it comes to his argument of “I’m a 3rd year law student therefore I am an intellectual” into perspective.
He is completely arrogant because he thinks being a law student somehow makes him immune to all our arguments about why the term straight acting is actually homophobic and a term for the self-loathing.
If he actually had a functional intellect he could look up concepts like “microagressions” (often described in terms of racism but easily applied to homophobic matters). Or even easier just look up basic queer theories to understand why his terminology is so offensive to so many people.
But of course he will never do this because he thinks he is so correct already. He will make a pretty crappy lawyer I fear, if he ever manages to complete his degree.
And I think having is face plastered all over this site bodes quite badly for future career prospects also. A fitting result.
Hey Mr Barrister,
Forget being a functional intellect, if you were a decent human being, you wouldn’t of resorted to venting about me on a hate blog site. A ‘not interested’ would have been sufficient. You know, how adults resolve differences in opinion? Crappy lawyer? You’re a crappy person.
Info on racial microaggressions (mentioned by the barrister dude – and yes, microaggressions can be targeted towards any minority/marginalised group…)
From Psychology Today.com:
Microaggressions in Everyday Life: A new view on racism, sexism, and heterosexism. by Derald Wing Sue, Ph.D., and David Rivera, M.S.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/microaggressions-in-everyday-life/201010/racial-microaggressions-in-everyday-life
>> If anyone is too lazy to click on the link, lemme post the most salient part of the article below <<
Classifying Microaggressions
In my book, Racial Microaggressions in Everyday Life: Race, Gender and Sexual Orientation (John Wiley & Sons, 2010), I summarize research conducted at Teachers College, Columbia University which led us to propose a classification of racial microaggressions. Three types of current racial transgressions were described:
• Microassaults: Conscious and intentional discriminatory actions: using racial epithets, displaying White supremacist symbols – swastikas, or preventing one’s son or daughter from dating outside of their race.
• Microinsults: Verbal, nonverbal, and environmental communications that subtly convey rudeness and insensitivity that demean a person’s racial heritage or identity. An example is an employee who asks a co-worker of color how he/she got his/her job, implying he/she may have landed it through an affirmative action or quota system.
• Microinvalidations: Communications that subtly exclude negate or nullify the thoughts, feelings or experiential reality of a person of color. For instance, White people often ask Latinos where they were born, conveying the message that they are perpetual foreigners in their own land.
Our research suggests that microinsults and microinvalidiations are potentially more harmful because of their invisibility, which puts people of color in a psychological bind: While people of color may feel insulted, they are often uncertain why, and perpetrators are unaware that anything has happened and are not aware they have been offensive. For people of color, they are caught in a Catch-22. If they question the perpetrator, as in the case of the flight attendant, denials are likely to follow. Indeed, they may be labeled “oversensitive” or even “paranoid.” If they choose not to confront perpetrators, the turmoil stews and percolates in the psyche of the person taking a huge emotional toll. In other words, they are damned if they do and damned if they don’t.
Note that the denials by perpetrators are usually not conscious attempts to deceive; they honestly believe they have done no wrong. Microaggressions hold their power because they are invisible, and therefore they don’t allow Whites to see that their actions and attitudes may be discriminatory. Therein lays the dilemma. The person of color is left to question what actually happened. The result is confusion, anger and an overall draining of energy.
No I think I did the right thing. You are clearly a very arrogant little upstart and are not as bright as you think you are. This little conversation is doing the rounds at our chambers as well so keep whining as we are having a grand old chuckle every time you or your friends post. Thank you for the entertainment. Your pic is up on one of the fridges as we speak LOL
@ I DID IT………you truly are an insignificant crumb that clearly has nothing to do except hate on everyone else. You are the true douche. And to be quite honest you mustn’t be that good of a lawyer if you have the time to do something sO pathetic as slate someone you dont even know. It is such a shame that someone with your “apparent” intelligence wastes his time pickin on a 20year old kid. Don’t you have anyone else to fck with??? Or have you grown bored of hating your own life because the only sexual attention you ever got was from tour father? Have fun being a lawyer mate an have fun being a pitiful human being that will die old an alone.. This type of behavior is beyond inhuman and your a fuckin bully i would Gladly challenge you to have this conversation with someone face to face….but then again you probably thrive in being a keyboard warrior having such an “intellectualL argument behind ya keyboard. You will never be able to justify this type of behavior because at the end of the day you are nothing but a sad twisted bully.. your calling BOBY an arrogant little upstart??? did ya feelings get hurt mate??? You upset that no one wants you?? no one loves you?? I am glad that you think putting a picture of someone you don’t even know in your office is appropriate…….you really are a peice of shit…….but don’t worry daddy will always love you..
Some queens have WAY too much time on their hands!
too disgusted and parker: LOLZ you seem to have way too much time on your hands too LOLZ LOLZ LOLZ
I will be sure to tell my partner of 8 years that you think I will die lonely.
As for this so-called “bullying” the little turd gives as good as he gets. If he didn’t so arrogantly try to defend the indefensible then he wouldn’t be on the fridge in the first place.
But go ahead, have another whinge like I’ve already said, its really entertaining…
I have plenty of time when it comes to defending one of my beat friends. Obviously you don’t have any real “mates”
@ I DID IT I am so happy to hear that you have a partner of 8 years….it just shows that even a cunt like you can get some form of charity. It amazes me to think you can still justify your actions. And I am a little cobfused you have a partner of 8 years and your on Grindr???? Wow that relationship seems functional. You must be real happy with it to be on Grindr but then again your probably on there trying to search for something a little better then what you got to fill that blank spot in your life huh.have fun eating your feelings when all your shit talking bites you in the arse. You. Sad sad sad sad lonely bitter queen. xOXO
This is getting really bitchy… Handbags at Dawn girls! Love it !
Lol! Ever hear of an open relationship?
Also, I’m very impressed you have so much time to defend one of your “beat friends”… HAHAHAHAHA
All of “disgusted”‘s comments and those of “this is me” just reinforce why we need this site. You losers attack the gay lifestyle then expect not to suffer consequences. You are unaccepting of men you consider to be “too gay” and of open relationships which are usually very very healthy (a lot healthier than a worn out monogamous relationship after a few years). I applaud the guy who submitted this douchebag and think the two of you are only making the case for why you a douchebags ever stronger.
I don’t see what the problem is here. The douchebag in question espoused a homophobic position and was submitted to this site because of it. Judging from his and his friends response I think the submission was entirely justified. Also I live in the same city as this douchebag and I notice his profile has now been changed – it no longer contains homophobia. So despite him and his friends arguing till they are blue in the face, it looks like he learned his lesson. But I’m glad he was out on here because I doubt he would have learned it any other way.
Has anyone noticed how long the debates are when it comes to the douchebags from Australia?
I’ve been following this site since it started and I find that the Australian dochebags are the most debated here.
I think it’s a testimony to just how racist, homophobic, and generally bigoted Australians in general are (not all just a large chunk of them).
How unfortunate it must be to be gay and have a real mind and a social conscience in Australia.
They love their ignorance Down Under and they will fight for it tooth and nail!!!!!
to the “i did it” character – i dont have a law degree, i work in retail… furthermore, even WITHOUT said degree i still feel more than comfortable in saying your a WANKER… clean cut. no more to it… posting boby on this shit is just dog act full stop!
why not just say ‘sorry no thanks’ – oh yes thats right cause u thought u should make an example of him for his choice of words?? hmmm there’s something i want to say about integrity AND dignity but i feel as though you think your actions were justified so ill save that spiel due to the fact that i may aswell bash my head up against a brick wall…
hold on, let me check what other shit you spat out in your rants…. this is going to take a while to dissect…
“…Or even easier just look up basic queer theories to understand why his terminology is so offensive to so many people.”
to these ‘many people’ that are offended by the term ‘straight acting’ – a glass of concrete works wonders… harden up, move on… its alot more straight forward (oooo there’s that nasty evil word again) than ‘masculine acting’ which could very well encompass an array of mannerisms…
we all know what straight acting means so neck up… i personally find the concept of open relationships disgusting to say they least – its an excuse to slut around and not feel bad about it, and then to slither back into bed with the person you claim to love… just doesnt sit right with me – but thats my view on it… if it works for you, more power etc.
that being said, someone in your particular shoes, doesnt have a leg to stand on when it comes social/political/cultural/whatever correctness because, evidently your far from what i and im sure a vast majority would consider role model material – so how dare you sit on your moral high horse and pass judgement when for all intents and purposes, your merely a glorified slut with a law degree… your trying to dress a pig in wool and pass it off as a sheep (you being the pig in question here) when everyone can see your still a pig.
show this comment to your friends… try and read between the lines of what they DO and DON’T say
i dont have a law degree, yes i work in a generic industry… but i do know right from wrong…
were bobys choice of words inappropriate?
perhaps
were the words in question inappropriate for a medium such as grindr?
no – political correctness goes out the window when you engage with an app in order to cop head
on the other side of the coin however, we have you…
were your actions wrong to post boby on this site for what YOU consider a bad choice of words?
YES… your a wanker… theres nothing more to it my friend… your a nasty fag and i promise you, if someone EVER spoke to me like that, to my face where i could see them – i would flog them… and over what? a disagreement about a choice of words???
no.
this entire thread has transcended ‘a bad choice of words’.
this goes WAY beyond boby saying ‘straight acting’…
im fairly confident in saying that you didnt have many friends growing up aye
and now your probably reading this and saying “yes i did hahaha”
but you really didnt did u… think long and hard about who you actually still talk to from your days at school and im sure ull find that the numbers have steadily decreased leading up until this moment… and why??
because your a mean person and no1 wants to be friends with someone like that.
@LAWL LAWLZ – yup, your observation is quite apt. Some of these guys are arrogantly proud of their ignorance and prejudice.
Case in point – jaymz12321 here. And what’s interesting about guys like this are they will deny any evidence people give them — whether it was reported in a study or news or article saying it can’t be true because it challenges their views or beliefs.
But when asked for the evidence of their beliefs/views, they won’t offer it and it seems that their opinions are good enough to convince people into submission.
And of course, only their opinions must be accepted as correct or as the absolute truth – right or wrong – if that’s the way it’s done in “Ostraya” then it’s the only way it must be done. If you don’t like it, you can piss off, they’ll say.
Their rationale is quite worrisome really. I’m just thankful I’m be taking a break from Oz soon. Spending too long here can fuck up your brains, I tell you.
Anyway, if found all these arguments and all the stupid arrogant comments made by these douchebags entertaining – check out this site:
http://theantibogan.wordpress.com/
It’s a whole collection of racist, homophobic, sexist, ignorant Aussie douchebags, bitches and assholes saying nasty things online – it’s another naming and shaming site, I guess.
Enjoy laughing or shaking your head at our Ozzie douchebags!
Oh I’m quite aware I can be wrong… However in this particular case, Im not.
Your having a bitch and whinge about the term ‘straight acting’
Grow up, toughen up cause if it upsets you THAT much, u should really lock yourself into a room, away from the world cause I At the end of the day, that’s nothing compared to what I’m sure ull experience in terms of ‘homophobic’ behavior…. Studies about non-pseudo sciences – I will take into account…. The shit your putting forward is utter garbage
Lol. Yes Azul the whole jaymz argument of “toughen up” really does give an strong insight into the complete breakdown of social consciousness in Australia. There’s so no concept of why the term carries so much offence. This whole “you did something bad to bobby ad therefore no amount of logic will prevail” is truly disturbing. In the last ten years I’ve seen Australia society regress faster than it did the previous 20 years. What’s more frightening is these people will never “awaken” and will hold on to their prejudices and ignorance right to the grave. If they could only see how much they are
Embarrassing themselves from an intellectual point of view but alas when you are asleep at the wheel you really aren’t very aware of what’s actual going on.
Once again I would like to state how glad I am this site exists because it gives a voice to the people who are fed up with the internalised homophobia exhibited in this dochebags profile.
VIVA LA DOUCHEBAGS OF GRINDR!!!!
Oh and just to make a further comment on the attack these ingrates have made on open relationships. They are still so blatantly brainwashed by the Herero world and it’s values (which has caused them to be so internally homophobic in the first place) that they are unable to accept that other forms of relationship are deeply fulfilling. Monogamy is not the only choice. If you want monogamy then have it. If you want an open relationship then have it. Polyamorous? You go girl! But here we have the unconscious animals on this site once again showing their true colours – which state clearly “we are hateful of anything different to ourselves”. They are an insecure mob with a
Mob mentality and I’m glad this site is causing them so much grief – they deserve every bit of it
In order to more clearly communicate with my opponents on here I think I will just write the word:
LOLZ
On an aside has anyone been watching that new Paulie Fenech show HOUSOS on SBS lately? I’m pretty sure Bobby and all his friends have starring roles
“[Straight acting is] alot more straight forward (oooo there’s that nasty evil word again) than ‘masculine acting’ which could very well encompass an array of mannerisms”
So if you heard a guy describe himself as masculine, you wouldn’t know what he meant. Because masculine is just so broad and ambiguous. Really? Excuse the ad hominem, but you are plain backwards. It must be Backwards Day when one must resort to an illogical (see my other replies) and uneducated word when a perfectly logical and appropriate one exists.
I don’t think “straight acting” is offensive the way others have suggested. Offensively stupid, maybe.
Housos, HOUSOS HOUSOS
Housos, HOUSOS HOUSOS
jesus christ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL OF YOU GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! maybe you should all just try masturbation, from what i see here it would cause less complications for all of you…
HOUSOS! LAWLZ LAWLZ LAWLZ
This whole site reminds me of the glory days of gay bars and clubs in my city. No matter where you went, there would be openly gay people, there would be closet cases, there would be men being masculine, there would be men being feminine. There would be gay men being themselves. You could guarantee there would be a clicky group huddled in a corner bitching about everyone. This is just the cyber-quivalent.
It’s tantamount to bullying. You bitc#es need to go watch some Trevor Project videos and then get out of the house more.
I’m really pretty tho
Lol. I notice pretty people go through a quick blossoming then turn ugly real quick. But they tend to stay stupid the whole time regardless
***********
NO HATE
***********
nah i wont tho… i steal newborn placenta and eat it
http://stopracismandhomophobiaongrindr.com/
Faris makes far too many broad sweeping statements about how we should have no personal preferences when deciding who we date or sleep with. That is complete nonsense. How on earth do you think most of the people on this planet marry. They find someone they like the look of spending their life with. Don’t be delusional in your pHd Lawson, no one ever says “you’ll do”
To blue turtle I agree with you. I don’t think people should be given the message “just fuck anyone otherwise it means ur a bigot.”
What I think is the main problem here is that people are disguising offensive, marginalised language as “sexual preference”.
Shag who u wanna shag just don’t make the people u don’t wanna shag feel like crap about themselves along the way.
@blue turtle
No. That there has been a migration of replicated values to cyberspace is inaccurate. In the deidentification of the internet, the devolution has escalated.
It’s not bullying to pull up bullies – that’s sophistry. Socially responsible shaming is our responsibility. Our community has allowed improper conduct to continue far too long.
Sexual preference is a term used to mask implicit racism and internalised homophobia – or are you going to suggest that if I say ‘no rice, no femmes, no queens, straight acting only’ that I am being anything but a bully.
I should add that bullying by social exclusion is a well recognised process.
When we announce harmful stereotypes that reduce people to 2 dimensional constructs, we are telling them they are not acceptable and that they are unwelcome.
That is social exclusion, yet another way that racist, ageist, homophobic, tags harm those they target.
I think you are extremely correct! The original bully here is the douchebag who is too arrogant and unconscious to realise that his words have a powerful negative effect on those around him. His public shame is an unfortunate necessity.
totally with you bjc.
the attempt to justify straight acting as an appropriate term for use by socially responsible adults, and to obfuscate that words for sexual preference is disingenuous.
Femmeophobia is what it is. To strip away natural human variation by the attempt o clone us crocodile dundees sounding paradies of human beings and to call that sexual preference is harmful to our community.
sexual preference is an entirely different construct to femmeophobia
Problem is how do you communicate these concepts in simple terms to a person who thinks they can do no wrong?
I hear you 🙂 But he has two options, in reality.
1. Deny and minimise that his labelling style is offensive, and a self-indulgent mode of shaming: ‘no femmes’ shames anyone he decides is not blokey.
He will be humbled by life, later or sooner if he goes down this path. Life just works like that.
Or
Option 2: grow. Into a man, by choice, like you have bjc, by exploring your own inner demons and going on the journey of discovery tht is about social tolerance.
Someone who is self-reflecting, self-aware, self-scrutinising, open to new ideas and who makes a valuable contribution to his society and propagates social evolution.
True that. Life will hopefully sort him out
Weird hairline and nose…not a fan of the lower belly fat
This guy is actually well known for being a huge slut around town. I am not surprised in the slightest to see him on here as a lot of people really dislike this douche. I can honestly say i would never do anything with this boy in fear of contracting an STI.
http://stopracismandhomophobiaongrindr.tumblr.com/post/17398663631/just-nice-homophobic-guys-this-is-the-same
what the fuck? jaymz shut the fuck up nobody is even listening to you because you’re clearly a dumbass and should shut your mouth. and to the actual person, is it so hard to just accept what people are saying? if you were really smart then you could have easily just have apologized instead of making adjacent comebacks. to your friends, that’s great and all but you’re all fucking stupid too. and i dont think there’s anything wrong with this site, except for occasionally accusing the wrong person (not this time) of being a douche. we get what you’re saying, but that’s besides the point. SOME PEOPLE “/
I suppose the phrase ‘straight acting’ is a bit of an oxymoron. You are acting to be something which you are not (as you are homosexual and not straight). To be honest, from that picture, he is not straight acting himself and most definitely gay.
Wow I just read this. Having all his friends come here to defend him proves that he hates himself and has low self esteem.
He’s not a douche. He’s smokin’ hot, masculine, with a killer body, who has the self-respect to know what he wants, then, state it openly. How you feel about is irrelevant. It’s not about you.
fempfq
xzndnr